Well, there you have it. Robbie Williams has admitted he joined the X Factor train to earn some dough. Most singers go down the Las Vegas residency route when they’re hurting for cash, but as Robbie never made it big in the US, that’s not possible. I guess he could rejoin Take That if he falls out with Simon Cowell? 

Elsewhere, Danny ‘I’m fucking Danny Dyer’ Dyer decided to treat his daughter and her new man to a curry following the pair’s victory in this year’s Love Island. He seems like a Vindaloo kind of geezer to me, so I’m assuming they had a Vindaloo. 

I’m also starting to worry about Tyrese Gibson. He’s already got into a massive barney with The Nicest Guy in Showbiz, aka Dwayne Johnson, who he blames for the delay of the next Fast and Furious movie. This week, he’s for some reason decided to photoshop himself onto the front cover of a copy of Forbes, where he appears to be teasing the impending success of a multi-billion dollar company called Voltron Enterprises.

Negan from The Walking Dead is coming to Tekken 7

Okay, this is pretty mental. Negan in Tekken 7? I’m sold. Seriously though, I’m already coming up with ideas for his Rage Art: standing over his opponent, probably letting off a couple of sweary insults, before pummelling them over the head with his baseball bat/possible lover, Lucille. Not only that, but we’ve got Lei Wulong coming back to the fold, a character that was left out of Tekken 7 at launch, much to the disappointment of fans. 

Lei is a pretty big deal for Tekken fanatics, as the clumsy cop and Jackie Chan-wannabe is easily one of the most unusual fighters in the roster; a character of myriad styles, difficult to master but absolutely deadly in the right hands. I love a bit of drunken Kung-Fu master, and am chuffed to see him back in the fold. 

Halo TV series features an original story with Master Chief

If you’re going to do a Halo TV series, you can’t really have it without Master Chief. There’s still not much known about the show yet, as it’s not assaulting TV screens until 2020; however, we do know that it’ll feature a completely original story, which is pretty exciting. A straight adaptation of one of the games probably wouldn’t work (and is surely more suited to a movie?), so this is pretty positive news. Of course, there’s the whole thing about Chief never taking off his helmet, but that will apparently be a major part of the show and probably the most intriguing tidbit we have so far. 

Devil May Cry 5 exists because of fan demand

It sucks to admit it, but DmC was not a commercial success. Yes, it was a brilliant game and a fantastic reboot for the action-slasher series, but it didn’t set tills alight – at least not to the extent that Capcom hoped for. However, fans have apparently been moaning enough to convince the Resident Evil creators to take another chance with Dante’s demon-infused shenanigans, as that’s partly why Devil May Cry 5 exists in the first place. Okay, commercial viability also plays a part, but Capcom has said that the fans’ demand has also been a major influence. 

One of the key tidbits the Japanese publishing giant let slip, however, is that DMC5 is very much an extension of the original series, as opposed to Ninja Theory’s effort. Having said that, there’s no denying that the sequel shares a lot of similarities, aesthetically speaking, with DmC, which as far as I’m concerned is bloody brilliant.

The Fallout 76 beta will let you carry over your progress to the full game

I’m a glass half-full kind of bloke. Yes, Fallout 76 is skipping Steam at launch, as Bethesda obviously isn’t keen on lobbing a cut of the profits in Valve’s direction, which evidently has pissed off a lot of fans. However, there’s a silver lining in the fact that the beta is essentially the full game, allowing you to transfer all your progress to the final product. If you’re planning on sinking a lot of time into the beta, then this is pretty cool, as it’ll save a lot of time faffing about with the usual options when you kick-start your online post-apocalyptic journey. 

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate adds Castlevania’s Simon Belmont

Ninty is really pulling out all the stops with this one. Frankly, it’s amazing how Simon Belmont hasn’t cracked his whip in a Smash Bros. game until now, but better late than never. Packing some iconic moves, he’s also joined by Richter (who’s an Echo Fighter), as well as Dracula’s Castle that features random appearances by the blood-sucking vamp legend himself. I’m also chuffed that King K. Rool is rocking up for a ruck too; as Donkey Kong’s main rival, he’s an iconic baddie that deserves a spot on the roster.

On a related note, let’s talk about that Luigi death. I mean, seriously Ninty? That shit is enough to give kids nightmares. The poor plumber was gutted by Death and left a broken heap on the floor. He had no pupils either, which just looks all kinds of wrong. Okay, he’s not really dead, but still – that’s uncalled for. 

Here’s the first Red Dead Redemption 2 gameplay footage

This is the big one. After almost two years of drip-feeding us meticulously crafted cinematic trailers, Rockstar has finally blown the barn doors off the first proper look at Red Dead Redemption 2. And it looks the dog’s bollocks. Sweeping countrysides, majestic views, visceral combat, and lots of horses. Actually, the horses are one of the highlights; check out those animations. Blimey! Yes, Red Dead 2 looks very Red Dead-y, but what else would you expect? Besides, the series didn’t need a complete overhaul, just a bit of fine-tuning; the world is bigger, there’s more to do, the combat has been beefed up (including the Dead Eye system), and you have your own gang camp to look after and provide for. I can’t wait to lasso myself a copy of this future gem.

Resident Evil 2 will let you play through the game with only a knife

Well, shit. I’ve tried one knife run in my 21 years as a Resi fan, and it didn’t go that well. It was the original 1996 version, and I had to use a sneaky pause trick in the end to make it through in one piece. I’m ashamed, but trying to kill a Hunter with a knife can just bugger off. Now, the three-hour goal for the Rocket Launcher? Yeah, I aced that. Still, if people are mental enough to go through Resi 2 with just a knife (seriously, how on earth do they expect to take down Birkin?) then more power to them.

To be honest, I’m more interested in Capcom’s brief mention of including something in the Resi 2 remake that will stand alongside the Fourth/Tofu Survivor modes to extend its replay value. This has a lot of potential: a side campaign starring Ada Wong would be an ideal fit, as she gets up to all sorts of shenanigans when Leon isn’t around to whine at her for running off for hours at a time. Failing that, we could just get a battle mode, as the DualShock version of Resi 2 featured this as an unlockable. Either one and I’d be down like a clown after a piss-up with the boys at the RPD, pre-zombie apocalypse. 

Doom Eternal gameplay is everything you want it to be

'Nuff said. Go watch the trailer.

Happy weekend, all.
 

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