Grand Theft Auto 6—or, quite possibly, “VI”; or, who knows, maybe even a cursive neon-pink “Six”—is coming. The game, according to a recent report, is “at least two years away.” It is, apparently, to be set in a Miami-like landmass. A safe guess would be that it will bear the name of Vice City. And it will feature, as its star, a woman who, along with her loving partner, makes a living robbing banks. Think Bonnie and Clyde meets Miami Vice—more likely the Michael Mann film of 2006, rather than the Michael Mann TV show of 1984. Anyway, here are seven things that would make GTA 6 brilliant.
1. The option to wear a Hawaiian shirt
The hero of Grand Theft Auto: Vice City was Tommy Vercetti. Tommy’s dress sense was critiqued by his business associate Ken Rosenberg thusly: “I mean, no offense, but I think you might turn heads on the runway for the wrong reasons.” Nevertheless, the outfit in which he begins his criminal quest—turquoise Hawaiian shirt, stone-washed blue jeans, dirty-white trainers—has acquired a legendary status. In GTA 6, Give us the option to buy, steal, or assemble the outfit and pay homage to Vice City’s premiere criminal.
Now, what we know of GTA 6—which is, admittedly, very little, is that our heroine robs banks. This is not to say that she will not rub shoulders with the doyens of other industries. Namely drug runners. In similar fashion to the way that Red Dead Redemption had us riding south into Mexico, what if GTA 6 had us nipping south, via speedboat, into Cuba. According to the recent report, Rockstar planned to include “territories modelled after large swaths of North and South America,” before the company reeled in those ambitions and cut the main map down to a fictional version of Miami and its surrounding areas.” Still, perhaps we could see Cuba—or a fictional spin on it—in a post-launch update. We do know that there will be post-launch content, with “new missions and cities on a regular basis.”
3. The Everglades
Back in the era of the PlayStation 2, there was only so much countryside that Rockstar could cram onto a disk. With Grand Theft Auto 5, we got vineyards, deserts, and vast patches of woodland. With GTA 6, let’s have the Everglades: those massive stretches of tropical wetland in the South of Florida. Think Lemoyne, from Red Dead Redemption II, only imagine skimming over it in a hover boat and performing drive-by shootings on any fauna that desires you as lunch.
4. Drug Dealing Minigame
One of the best things about Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars was its attitude toward dealing drugs. This was resoundingly one of Just Say Yes. Its hero, Huang Lee, drove to and fro, taking advantage of the dip and spike of the market—buying low and selling high, as it were. With GTA 6, this would work well with the setting, given that Miami is where Tony Montana plied his powdery trade.
5. A More Focussed story
As time has settled on GTA 5, many seem to have cooled on its triple-protagonist approach. If GTA 6 features a Bonny and Clyde-style duo, it would be nice if we only played as one of them. The fractured and tangled stories of Franklin, Michael, and Trevor are no substitute for a more singular tale.
6. Danny Trejo
On the whole, Rockstar likes to keep its eras separate. Characters from the 3-D era (the PS2 trilogy) do not cross over into the HD era (Grand Theft Auto IV onward). However, there are some exceptions. Lazlow, formerly the host of Chatterbox and co-host on V-Rock, appeared in IV, and Fernando Martinez appeared in its expansions. Dare we dream of Danny Trejo making a return in GTA 6? Trejo was in Vice City, voicing Umberto Robina, the leader of Cuban street gang—and frequenter of Café Robina, his father’s establishment. Idea: Bring back Umberto but reboot him as the host of a radio station—Robina FM. Easy.
7. Niko Bellic
This sounds rather outlandish. And it’s likely that Rockstar would not wish to cramp its new characters with the presence of an old one. But we know That Niko Bellic, the hero of GTA IV is still around somewhere. In GTA V, Lester describes him to Michael as “an Eastern European guy making moves in Liberty City,” before saying that Niko “went quiet.” Well, Vice City is a good a place as any to go quiet; what with its beaches and golf courses, it’s a prime spot for retirement. If our new heroes need to enlist some help robbing banks, Niko certainly has the required expertise. And how better to celebrate a successful heist than with a spot of bowling?