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It’s Friday! Or is it? Time is a social construct, so I could tell you it’s Wednesday today, and how could you prove me wrong? It’s Friday because it’s the fifth day this week, but when did this week start? Can’t prove that either, I’m afraid. Well, the calendar in the bottom right corner of the monitor says it’s Friday. Who told the computer that it’s Friday? Anyone could change that display in the settings. What I can say, for certain, is that events occurred and news transpired in this indefinable time period, and it’s been turned into bite-size chunks, here in the round-up…
Do you ever listen to a song that’s totally new to you and think, Hang on. Stop the presses. This is an unreasonably good sound, and I’ve got to know how and why this came to be? Maybe it’s just me having an unreasonably forensic approach to listening to music. The song was French Toast by Floyd Wonder.
So, I want to know more. Who else makes music like this? Tap, tap, tap. My Spotify app says that Floyd Wonder are brunchcore. The collaboration is a “tribute to the music of Detroit’s one and only legendary underground funk mailman, Suede.” Now, I don’t know what brunchcore is, and I can’t parse the phrase to guess what it means either. Brunch. Core.
I turn to Wikipedia. Witch house, krautrock, psybient, but the free encyclopaedia’s never heard of brunchcore. Is Spotify and/or Floyd Wonder having me on? Is it a real thing, or are Floyd Wonder the only brunchcore artists in the whole world? I doubt it. The world is very big.
Ok. Who’s Suede, the person who inspires Floyd Wonder, then? This isn’t Suede, the British rock band who sang “Stay Together.” It isn’t Suede who sued Suede for the rights to the name “Suede,” either. I may be mistaken, but I’m unable to find any record of the one and only legendary underground funk mailman of Detroit. This seems strange, because this man allegedly rubbed shoulders with Prince, Hugh Hefner, and Rick James, and coined the word “biscuits” to describe those baked, crumbly confections. What I do find are listings to buy a suede jacket from the city, which is a little excessive given the current global circumstances.
Investigating Floyd Wonder’s contributions to brunchcore, however indefinite and nebulous, I think I’ve worked out what this sound is composed of. It uses brass instruments, clashing with the lethargic and low-pitched timbre of the vocalist. The lyrics must reference breakfast food, and it’s possible that these references are an innuendo—but not every time, just to keep you on your toes. Floyd Wonder describe a decadent lifestyle in their songs: striving to become a trillionaire before Jeff Bezos, and jet-setting across the world to drink wine with the Pope. I wonder where our Crumpet Corner chat fits into subculture.
Here’s the news.
The Elder Scrolls 6 is “years” away from a proper reveal, says Bethesda
Apparently, Todd Howard knows when the game will release, but he’s keeping mum. The Elder Scrolls 6 was first seen at E3 2018, with a teaser trailer of rolling hills and spiky mountains in the fantasy setting. Though two years have now passed, that’s as much as we know about the game, and that’s as much as we’re getting for quite some time. “It’s after Starfield, which you pretty much know nothing about”, said vice president of public relations and marketing, Pete Hines. “So if you’re coming at me for details now and not years from now, I’m failing to properly manage your expectations.” The game is “big” and “ambitious,” so perhaps it’s just as well that it will arrive once the next generation of hardware has settled in and put its feet up.
Resident Evil 8 said to be the “darkest and most gruesome” game in the series so far
The latest lot of leaks allege that the game’s story and graphics will be gnarly, and that there isn’t only one baddie in Resident Evil 8. Earlier reports claim that Chris Redfield has had a change of heart, so this may refer to that, or may refer to an unknown character. Once again, a first-person perspective was stated, but the cutscenes will apparently swap between first and third-person perspectives. “We’re close to when the game was originally supposed to be revealed before COVID-19,” said the leaker, and they also added that the game is targeting a release on PCs and the current and the next generation of consoles. Keep your eyes peeled. Metaphorically.
Sai is like Hellblade meets Horizon: Zero Dawn, and its sales support environmental charities
This is the debut title from Studio Mutiny, a small team based in Cornwall in the UK. Playing as a druid defending an ancient Celtic forest, the player will battle metallic creatures which have invaded the forest in search of the Heart Tree. The Heart Tree is the source of all magic in the world, and the druid must “explore this beautiful realm, harness the power that still lingers here, and uncover its dark past.” Sai is available for PC through itch.io for a minimum donation of £5.00, and 80 per cent of all sales will be given to conservation charities. So far, more than £300 has been raised to fight against deforestation around the world.
Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 1 and 2 remasters have been revealed
Vicarious Visions is calling these “remasters,” but these games are essentially remakes. The difference between the crunchy graphics of PlayStation and the possibilities of the PlayStation 4 isn’t just chips and whizzy things, it’s an entire world. So, anyway, Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 1+2 are coming to the PlayStation 4, PC, and Xbox One on September 4. We did have an inkling the remasters were happening, though, thanks to numerous pro skaters and bands accidentally mentioning a new Tony Hawk’s game at various points throughout this year. Maybe, they signed DAs instead of NDAs.
The composer of the Ezio trilogy will be scoring Assassin’s Creed Valhalla
Ubisoft is rolling the clocks back on the newest time-travelling journey, with the return of the Hidden Blade, social stealth, and a soundtrack by Jesper Kyd. Even if you haven’t heard of Kyd, you’ve likely heard his work in games like Borderlands, various Hitman games, Warhammer, and State of Decay. Moreover, Sarah Schachner—who lent her talents to the soundtracks of Black Flag, Unity, and Origins—will collaborate with Kyd for Valhalla’s soundtrack. Finally, the game is getting original songs written and performed by Einar Selvik, a Norwegian folk musician.
Mafia: Trilogy has been revealed, with more news scheduled for May 19
The rumoured Mafia remasters are here—well, not quite here. 2K Games assures us that further information about Mafia: Trilogy will arrive next week, but it’s safe to say that the three games are getting a lick of paint and some elbow grease to get them going on the current generation of consoles. Some screenshots of the remastered Mafia 1 circulated, and I’m going to revisit my “remaster or remake” argument here. Sure, technically speaking, it’s likely to be new assets running on old code. But, that doesn’t look anything like the original Mafia. It’s a remake. Untechnically speaking.
Official PlayStation 5 footage debuts with the power of Unreal Engine 5
In the tech demo Lumen in the Land of Nanite, Epic Games showed off what the next generation of games may look like, in all of their glorious triangles. I’m able to describe what that’s like, but it’s more sensible if you take a look for yourself:
The demo is named for the new technologies which will arrive in Unreal Engine 5. Lumen is “a fully dynamic global illumination solution that immediately reacts to scene and light changes,” and Nanite is “virtualized micropolygon geometry, which frees artists to create as much geometric detail as the eye can see.” Moreover, the latter “frees developers from having to worry about polygon count and levels of detail,” and will scale cinematic assets in real-time so they look just as good on a smartphone as they do on the PlayStation 5.
Paper Mario: The Origami King revealed, launches for Switch in July
Nintendo dropped the announcement out of the blue, and it’s the newest entry to the spin-off series since Color Splash. King Olly, the titular Origami King, seeks to fold the world into pleasing paper sculptures, and it’s down to Mario to save the day. The King has control of Bowser’s Army, but Mario will encounter characters who will aid him on his journey. Also, the game will use a ring-based combat system—as the rings turn, Mario will line up enemies on these rings, and then attack. This appears to echo the puzzles, turn-based battles, and role-playing goodness of the earlier N64 and Gamecube entries.
