Blitz: The League Review

If there was one defining moment in Blitz: The League, it was when my player caught a 60-yard pass one-handed, juked his way to the endzone, tugged down his pants, mooned the crowd, then wiped his ass on the goal post Randy Moss style. Or maybe it was that time when my player tore off his opponent’s helmet and beat him silly with it. And then there was that time when my team hired hookers to, ahem, ‘exhaust’ the other team before the big division title. Is it any wonder why Blitz was banned in the land down under?

Yes, Blitz is Madden on roids. It’s Madden glazed in F-bombs. It’s Madden with hookers to hire. But is it any good? Is it another Dynasty Warriors-like port to shelve or, better yet, avoid all together?

While the current-gen versions were mighty playable and offered some solid multiplayer hyper-violent football goodness, Blitz’s transition to the next generation is more like a career ending fumble rather than a game winning TD. Lame football cliché’s aside, Blitz does have enough genuine moments to warrant a look, provided you missed out on last year’s release.

Mixed in with all the vulgarity, frequent F-bombs, and trashy cheerleaders is an equally over-the-top story. After a disappointing thrashing on the field, your team owner decides to cut his losses and start a brand spanking new team; one which you’ll customize straight down to the team’s name, city, logo, colours, jerseys and just about every other customizable option you can imagine. Since I’m currently living in Toronto, I chose to go with the Toronto Terrors. Not exactly the cleverest of names, but when you’re surrounded by teams like the Kansas City Crossfire or New England Regulars, it’s hard to get the creative juices flowing.

But back to the game. After a serious demotion, your team stumbles its way into the bottom of the barrel, the third division, and must make its way up the gridiron ladder by winning seven of 10 regular season games and the division title game for each of the three divisions.

Being the identical port that it is, Blitz doesn’t offer anything new in the gameplay and visual departments that you haven’t already seen before. Players can still slow the game down to make bone crunching tackles and fancy jukes by using the Clash feature. And you still build up the Unleash meter by performing those ornamental moves, taunts and the many dirty plays at your disposal. Fill the meter and unleash a gamebreaker-like move that can turn the tide in your favour.

Actually, those special moves are easily the coolest feature in the game, despite their inherent ability to exploit one of the game’s biggest flaws: Its difficulty. For the most part, Blitz is an absolute cakewalk. Being 20 + points ahead at the end of a game is frighteningly common and if you carefully combine the Clash moves with the uber-powerful unleash moves, you’re golden.

Then again, if there was ever a game that promoted the rubberband effect, it’s Blitz. Sometimes the computer gains god-like powers late in the game to win, no matter how well you’re playing or how many points you’re up by. It’s like the 1992 Bills vs Oilers Wild Card game all over again, except it happens every five games.

Blitz was an attractive game on the Xbox but the transition to the 360 wasn’t a smooth one. Sure, the game’s got that HD shine to it and a few new animations here and there but for the most part Blitz looks eerily similar to its current-gen counterparts.

That being said, The League is the best Blitz game to grace consoles – or the arcade for that matter – but Xbox 360 owners can and should expect more from their football games. The game’s comedic elements, including an amusing achievement titled ‘burning sensation’ that gets passed along during online play and a jab at EA with the Orlando Hammerheads (think Tiburon) who ‘look great on paper but fail to deliver the goods’, are bound to stir up a few laughs, but fail to conceal what the game really is: just another half-hearted port, albeit one that’s been released at a relatively low price point.