The top 7 disappointments of the year

It’s been a good year for video games. There was the one with shooting, the one with the driving, the one with the other kind of shooting. Then there was the one with the shooting and climbing. And then there were the games which were actually novel, like the FMV detective one and the one which made GameFAQS angry. Angrier. More angry, basically. Anyway, here’s the most disappointing moments of the year. Yes.

Rise of the Tomb Raider’s timed exclusivity

If you’d have asked me a year ago whether or not nu-Tomb Raider 2’s Xbone-first exclusivity deal would have mattered, at all, I would have laughed and walked off, shaking my head a little, because of course it doesn’t f***ing matter. Nu-Tomb Raider is one of the most overrated video games of recent times, which is saying something in an industry where no-one has a concept of ‘six out of ten’ (like the world before the Persians popularised ‘zero’), let alone apply it to their reviews.

Anyway, I initially didn’t care much for Rise of the Planet of the Tomb Raider, as – of course – its reveal and subsequent discussion was about on Lara’s ‘character’ (she kills things for treasure) and how it’s quite deep (she doesn’t want to kill stuff, kinda). But then the game came out and, as per, people loved it. They really loved it. And I thought, you know what, I would actually play this game, if only for an hour. It looks great, visually, and even though I hate the Lara Croft character, mainly because of People Always Saying How Deep She Is, it could be fun.

It’s not fun, of course, because it’s only available on Xbox One, a machine so terrible it has its own Wikipedia entry next to [Ed: No, Steve. No.]

Sony’s handling of Until Dawn

Until Dawn is one of the best games of this year, a clever deconstruction of horror film staples which slowly changed the player’s understanding of their role within it as it went along. Given such a strong base, it was of course marketed by Sony with all the vigour and confidence of it actually being a tiny downloadable bomb which would explode if you even thought about buying it.

This was quite disappointing.

There was so much Sony could have done with Until Dawn – Halloween tie-ins, pitching it at people who don’t really play games/groups of people playing (and making decisions) together – that to see it limp out at release was a bit disheartening. Maybe this was because the company didn’t have much faith in the game: it was, after all, at one point a PlayStation Move title. And the pre-release press showings weren’t much cop either, making little sense out of context. But come on guys. Have a little faith. Maybe they could make it up to Supermassive Games by giving it a big Christmas push: after all, both Until Dawn and December 25th are about spending huge amounts of time with people you can’t wait to see die.

Xbox One in general

I mean, obviously.

The PES 2016 transfers debacle

Ah Konami, whatever would we do without you. Fresh from creating the finest football game ever made (yes it is, you full-kit wankers) the Japanese publisher then went away and pissed most of its hard-earned public goodwill up the wall by not having accurate lineups at launch. There were reasons for this, of course, including some which allegedly had to do with the platform holders, patches, and other annoying bureaucracy. Still, it f***ed the game up for a lot of people, and went some way to turning off those who may have made the leap. Kits are one thing, but Raheem Sterling still being at Liverpool simply will not do.

Chapter 2 of Metal Gear Solid 5

The Phantom Pain was my game of the year, but f*** me some of those missions in Chapter 2 were a slog. Particularly the ones which were actually just missions you’d done earlier, but this time they were harder. I get what Kojima was going for: battlefield fatigue, cyclical conflict, skeleton ghost warriors which can teleport. But some of it was so uninspired, so obviously rushed, that it became more frustrating than appealing. Oh well. The forty or so hours leading up to it were f***ing brilliant.

People’s expectations

Imagine being excited about everything, all the time. It seems impossible, not to mention exhausting, but somehow the hype athletes of the internet manage to do it. And, as sure as night follows day and bust follows boom, these people are invariably disappointed when the games come out and aren’t the greatest things ever. Cue the backlash.

Maybe, guys, it’s time to admit that games are just a little bit rubbish, even the best ones. Sure, they’re technological marvels capable of doing things no other medium can, but then they also still think that putting checkpoints before cutscenes is a good idea. Let go of the breathless excitement and you’ll have a much better time. I promise. I know this won’t happen, because let’s face it, most people associated with games are terrible. But still. We live in hope.

Honourable mention: Manchester United Football Club

What a mess.