Ten signs that prove you’re incurably addicted to Football Manager

If there’s anyone who knows about being addicted to Football Manager, it’s me. Not only have I clocked in thousands of hours on the game, but I also run a meme page dedicated to it, for crying out loud. For better or worse, I have been fully submerged in the Football Manager universe for the last few years.

With all this experience of being hopelessly addicted to this ridiculous simulation game, I’ve picked up on a few telltale signs that prove when you’ve gone too far. As far as addictions go, it’s probably one of the better ones to have. But let’s be honest—it still has a serious impact on your social life.

So if you find yourself relating to any of these, it might be time to seek guidance from close family and friends. But if you’re guilty of even half of them? Well, it might already be too late.

Without further ado, here are 10 signs you are incurably addicted to Football Manager.

1. You Say “We” When Talking About Your Virtual Team And Players

Your club may only exist inside your laptop, but in your mind, you are the manager.

Conversations like:

• “We just need a good window.”
• “We battered them, but their xG was a joke.”
• “We’re on for the treble.”

These would be fine if they stayed inside your head. The problem is, you’re saying them out loud. People think you’re talking about a real team. Then they’re horrified when they realise they don’t actually exist.

It gets worse when you ask your mate how a player is doing in the league this season, only for them to stare blankly because you’re talking about a regen. Leonardo Gómez, the advanced forward, is not a real person.

And you know things have truly got out of hand when you start confusing Football Manager results with real-life ones. It’s like Inception—you’ve gone too deep, and people are starting to notice.

2. You Wear a Suit for Cup Finals

This one is impossible to explain to a “normal” person.

Why are you sitting at your laptop in a full suit?
Why does a game that just has you watching dots on a screen require you to dress up?

If you’re fully invested in a Football Manager save, you know that nothing is more important than cup final day. This is where legacies are built. This is history.

So, of course, you need to dress for the occasion.

3. You Play Football Manager in Incredibly Inappropriate Places

It starts off small. You’re playing FM in university lectures when you should be taking notes. You’re playing it on long car journeys instead of socialising. Then it escalates.

Your wife is giving birth, and your first thought is: “Wow, I’ve got hours to get through my latest season.” Out comes the laptop. A wedding getting a bit boring? Time to bring out Football Manager. You even find yourself playing FM while attending an actual football match. At a funeral? Okay, no—even you have limits. You’re not THAT addicted.

When we talked to IRL footballer Adam Le Fondre, he revealed that he had not only been playing FM in an Indian quarantine, but also on the train. Now that’s an FM addict, right?

4. You Leave Events Early To Go To Play Football Manager

You’re out with your mates. It’s 11 pm, and you’ve reached the point of no return. If you follow them to the next venue, you know you’ll be out until 3 am minimum.

Back in the old days, before FM took over your life, you’d have been one of the last ones standing. But now? You can’t stop thinking about your save. You’re at the bar mentally scouting a goalkeeper because you only have £100k left in the transfer budget. You make a quick excuse about having to “wake up early.” Thirty minutes later, you’re tucked up in bed, scouting regens from South America.

5. A Virtual Result Ruins Your Mood For A Real Event

Your girlfriend notices something’s off. You’re unusually quiet. You look furious. Everything she says irritates you. At the end of the night, she demands to know what’s going on.

The truth? Your 98-point title chase ended because your keeper dropped a routine catch in the 94th minute. You break up shortly after. And if this happens just before bed? Forget about sleeping for at least an hour—you’ll be lying there fuming.

6. You Know Player Names That None Of Your Friends Know

You’re watching a random Europa League game. Your mates know all the big players. Then, in the 70th minute, one team brings on an 18-year-old, and you immediately go: “Ah yeah, I know this guy. Turns into a brilliant left-back—really good going forward.”

Your friends look at you, confused. “How do you know who this guy is? He hasn’t played a full professional game yet?” Then it hits you: you know him because, in your FM save in 2032, he’s one of the best players on the planet. Your friends are living in the present, while you’re living in the future.

7. You Give a Post-Match Bathroom Interview… to Yourself

This is when you know you’ve really lost it.

You finish a game and head for a shower. While you’re in there, you find yourself muttering under your breath: “Yeah, the boys gave it everything today, and the result speaks for itself.”

The shampoo and conditioner are the journalists, and you’re justifying your poor run of form. You’re slipping into madness. And in real life? You start talking like a manager. Someone at work asks how your weekend was? You respond cautiously: “We did okay, but there’s always room for improvement.”

8. You Start Seeing Transfer Budgets in Football Manager Terms

Your mate tells you he just bought a car for £20,000. Your first thought: “Could’ve picked up a solid Championship-level midfielder for that.”

Someone mentions a big-money Premier League signing, and instead of just accepting it, you think: “That’s way too much for a 28-year-old with no resale value. Shocking business from them.” When someone asks you how much you earn per year, you have to fight the urge to say: “Not as much as I do when I’m managing Macclesfield in 2035.”

9. You’ve Stayed Up Ridiculously Late to “Just Finish the Transfer Window”

You tell yourself: “Just one more game.” That turns into: “Might as well see who I get in the Champions League group stage. Then you realise the transfer window is closing, so you absolutely have to stay up and finalise your squad.

Next thing you know, it’s 5 AM, your alarm is going off in two hours, and you’ve somehow convinced yourself it was all worth it because you landed a 16-year-old wonderkid from Argentina.

10. You Know More About the Fourth Tier of Belgian Football Than Your Own Family’s Lives

Your mum tells you that your cousin just had a baby, and your first thought is: “Wait… when did that happen?” Meanwhile, you can instantly recall the key attributes of an obscure defensive midfielder from the Polish second division. Your family asks what’s new in your life, and your only real update is: “Smashed the Vanarama South with Tonbridge Angels. We go again.”

Final thoughts

Maybe it’s just me. Maybe I’m the only one circling into madness, and everyone else plays Football Manager in a normal and healthy way… Or maybe not?

Let me know which ones you can SERIOUSLY relate to. The ones that hit a bit too close to home. At the very least that will help me realise I’m not alone in my Football Manager addiction affliction.