Gaming’s Seven Deadly Sins

Blood-soaked hack ‘n’ slash Dante’s Inferno arrives on PS3 and Xbox 360 this week, asking players to battle through a nightmarish Hell. To mark its release we’ve rounded up gaming’s biggest sinners and grouped them into the seven deadly sins: wrath, greed, sloth, pride, lust, envy, and gluttony. Want to know which games see you taking too much pride in your appearance, lusting over anything with a pulse or brutally attacking those around you? Read on to see which games should be condemned to a life in Hell.

Wrath – MadWord

Let’s talk about blood, guts, and more blood and guts. PlatinumGames’ MadWord has it all. You can impale enemies on spikes and throw them onto train tracks as… you guessed it… a train with spikes on the front speeds by. Ew.

Lust – Mass Effect 2

In BioWare’s sci-fi epic you can sleep with virtually everyone you meet. That’s not quite true, but you’re certainly the horniest bad-ass ever seen in a video game. Man, woman, alien – they’re all fair game in the video game version of Days of Our Lives. You know what Mass Effect really means, don’t you?

Greed – Fallout 3

In Bethesda’s post-apocalyptic depression-fest you fight for hundred-year-old canned fruit and bottle caps against Super Mutants and Ghouls. Funnily enough, if you load up on pots and pans and knives and leaf blowers (really) you can get “over-encumbered”. That means, basically, that you’ve got too much stuff to walk. That’ll learn ya.

Gluttony – Fat Princess

In Fat Princess your team has to stuff your princess with cake so she grows too fat for the opposing team to kidnap her. Yeah, we don’t know where these ideas come from, either. We’re surprised it hasn’t already been made into a fat-fighting documentary.

Sloth – Ice Age

Well, it’s a sloth, isn’t it?

Pride – Saints Row 2

In THQ’s gangster sandbox, you can pay plastic surgeons to change the way you look. In other open world games you’ve been able to sculpt your body by going to the gym or by eating too much food, but this takes vanity to another level.

Envy – Borderlands

Don’t drop a sweet weapon in Gearbox’s co-op shooter Borderlands. If you do, you’ll likely never see it again. There’s only one rule in Pandora: you snooze you lose. Keep those super weapons out of reach from envious co-op players.