Games for Wannabe Gangsters and crimelords

We don’t know this firsthand, but we reckon being a criminal is harder than it seems, so we thought we’d put together a list of games that could teach you the ropes. Remember, this is just a bit of fun.

Sleeping Dogs

While you’re an undercover Chinese-American police officer, as he goes undercover to infiltrate the Triad organization, Sleeping Dogs will definitely give you some inside knowledge about organised crime.

Driver San Francisco

All criminal organisations need good drivers, and this game even teaches you how to teleport from body to body – a skill that is sure to come in extremely handy when the cops come sniffing.

50 Cent: Blood on the Sand

Never has there been a truer tale of how a normal man can turn into a bad-ass. If 50’s video game teaches you anything, it’s that it’s perfectly possible to become a gangster if you can get hold of enough weaponry.

Saints Row The Third

If you’re in a real jam, the fuzz breathing down your neck and a rival gang on your tail, there’s really only one solution. Complete plastic surgery. Saints Row 2 lets you do just that, so you can figure out what your new appearance will be ahead of time. Be warned, though: Saints Row The Third will give you a crazy look into the world of criminals.

Kane & Lynch 2

This one’s more about how not to do it, than a lesson in professional crime. These two bungle things so badly they end up naked, tied to chairs. Play this and don’t repeat it, unless you want to appear on Britain’s Dumbest Criminals.

Mafia 2

Car bombs are a real danger if you get involved with the kind of shady people that run organised crime syndicates. Playing Mafia 2 should make you more aware of the explosive threat.

GTA San Andreas

Rockstar’s last PS2 GTA game is known for its crazy activities. Sky diving is just one of the unorthodox ways the game lets you get from A to B. If you’re ever in a crime lord’s penthouse and need a quick exit, you’ll be glad you played it.

GTA IV

For a GTA game, IV was quite down to earth. The characters were real, the setting was real and the driving was real. Play GTA IV to learn how to get about a busy city without alerting the police. It’s hard not to get road rage driving behind some of the slow coaches in Liberty City.

Hitman: Blood Money

There’s nothing more important than being able to silently take out your enemies. Agent 47 from the Hitman series is an expert at just that, so brushing up your skills with a bit of Blood Money should help you lurk in the shadows.

Godfather 2

As you climb the ladder from mindless thug to kingpin you need to make money, and running rackets inside seemingly respectable stores is one way to go about it. Godfather 2 lets you do just that – just make sure you threaten the owners the right amount.

Wheelman

“You’re only as good as your getaway driver”, so the saying goes – or at least we expect it goes amongst gangsters. Playing Vin Diesel’s high-action racer will teach you how to evade cops and how to leap between moving vehicles.

Gangsters

For the serious crime lord wannabes, this strategy game lets you build up a crime empire by calling the shots at the top. Who really wants to get their hands dirty these days anyway?

GTA: Chinatown Wars

Drugs are big business if you’re in the business of organised crime, and no game makes that clearer than Rockstar’s Chinatown Wars. Learn how to get the most out of drug deals and as a bonus discover how to start a stolen car using a DS stylus.