Dead Rising 3: Chaos Rising Review

The penultimate instalment of Untold Stories of Los Perdidos is here, and barring some sort of total disaster where the developer manages to download Faces of Death to your machine instead of the actual DLC in part 4, this has to be the worst one of the lot.

It has to be, because it’s so poor, so thrown together, that to imagine the last part being more irritating and bereft of ideas is near-impossible. This is utter filler: playing as swaggering douchenozzle/former biker gang leader Hunter ends up being less Hells Angels and more Office Angels, as you handle, essentially, the admin for the gang.

There’s more fetch quests here than if you were playing Dog Walking Simulator 2014. Which is also a complaint that could be levelled against the main game, and rightly so. But at least those quests tied into something approaching entertainment. Here, you have to pick up some booze for the new leader of the gang. Then you have to source a set of motorcycles. Then the jewellery of certain bikers. At one point the game just tells you to explore while you wait for the next story element to happen.

Which, it must be said, might as well just have been a message saying ‘sorry guys, can you fuck off for a bit while we try and pad this thing out as long as possible?’

When the story resumes, you are treated to a weird mega-motorcycle-with teeth, which in fairness is quite fun to ride around on (it shoots whirling blades of death, like this scene in Commando but on a motorbike).

But even that breaks after a while, and all you left with is a few new toys, a hateful lead character, and the same problems that irked you before about the game. For the price this is a bigger rip-off than that time I spent a tenner on scanning, and that’s saying something.

Played for 2 hours.