Saints Row: The Third Preview

You’re on a private jet, you’re tied to a chair, and you’re currently being menaced

by a snooty Belgian fop and his twin svelte lady-friends. The Euro-prat, Philipe, is

threatening to snuff you unless you effectively agree to be his corporate bitch.

Screw that; the Saints have only just turned into a mega brand, and what’s the

point in selling out if you’re not going to enjoy all that filthy lucre?

The only solution is to break free of your bonds, kill every mutha-humper in the

local vicinity, and to then fall out of the rear of the plane, murdering some more

people on your plummet back to earth. This is Saints Row the Third, dammit, and

this is what we do. For the record, we also sell energy drinks, and beat people to

death with purple dildos.

After our

last

preview, you may have been wondering just how far Volition was going to

push things with this game. Well, now we know: the studio is more or less going

nuts. The new E3 demo escalates proceedings to the level of a James Bond cocktail

– the violence of Connery, the pyrotechnics of Brosnan, and the silliness of Moore –

and then it marinates the whole thing in the egotistical essence of gangster

excess. And this is only the second mission in the game.

The rumble kicks off with the player battering guards aboard the aforementioned

jet, accompanied by the lovely Shaundi, an established Saints stalwart; Johnny Gat

is busy distracting everyone else so that the pair of you can escape. The player

dashes through the rear cabins of the aircraft dishing out beatdowns – some of

them utilising what looks to be a fairly satisfying QTE mechanic, with the left and

right triggers dispensing meaty punches to a floored opponent. The running battle

progresses to the hangar at the rear of the plane, and it’s here that things get

really over the top, resulting in Shaundi and the player getting knocked out into the

open air.

The big problem with this new situation is that Shaundi is parachutically-challenged.

Your primary goal is to get to her so that the pair of you can float down together,

but before that happens you’ll have to deal with all the goons who’ve also bailed

out of the jet.

So, here you are, trading bullets with suited thugs as you freefall towards the city

below. One of the goons collides with you, triggering another brief QTE as you kick

his face in and use him as fleshy cover, before eventually discarding him. In

between shootouts you steer yourself down towards the helpless Shaundi, avoiding

a surprisingly large amount of debris that has also tumbled out of the plan –

including massive cargo crates and several expensive-looking cars.

Eventually, after more aerial gymnastics that resemble a hilariously violent version

of PilotWings, you catch up with poor Shaundi. You grab your gal-pal, open your

chute, and your descent slows to a gentle glide. All is well… until you realise that

the jet has reappeared and is gradually turning to face you. It’s clearly about to

ram the pair, but luckily our antihero has a plan. “I’m going to shoot out the

window, land in the plane, kill Philipe, and then jump out the back again!” he says

affably, dropping Shaundi before she can protest.

And wouldn’t you just know it? That’s more or less exactly what he does. It’s a

ridiculously overblown set-piece that would seem stupid in even the most coked-up

of Hollywood blockbusters, but here in the world of Saints Row it makes perfect

sense. Our man blasts his way into the aircraft, and then more-or-less flies through

in the space of 30 seconds, before shooting out the back for the second time in

less than 10 minutes. As he zips through yet more falling cars and crates, he even

finds time for a quick quip – “How much shit was in that plane?” – before catching

up with the understandably annoyed Shaundi.

And that’s it – the end of the second mission of the game. If Saints Row the Third

is this over the top so early on, we can only guess at what the end will be like; it

could wrap up with you headbutting the moon in half and I wouldn’t be that

surprised.

It’s not hard to see that the game’s joyful playfulness is its biggest asset. It’s

possible that some people may be put off by just how ludicrous the whole thing has

become, but by the end of the demo I was aching to give it a go for myself. As the

case was with the last Saints Row, you occasionally sense that Volition is using

excess and wild enthusiasm to distract you from the underlying rough edges, but

the bottom line is that the game seems hugely appetising. Saints Row the Third is

so crazy, it makes San Andreas look like Sunday School.

Saints Row The Third is due for release on Xbox 360, PS3 and PC this holiday.