The latest War Mode event in PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds sees you murdering people on Erangel with a frying pan, some level 3 armour, a Molotov cocktail, and 20 frag grenades. What a lovely time for all, I'm sure.
The event, Dodgebomb, begins at 3am BST tonight / tomorrow morning, and will be running until August 13. You'll be dropped on the island as part of a ten-person team, taking on two other ten-person teams, with your goal being to reach 100 points before the timer runs out. Each kill earns you three points, and respawns occur every 30 seconds, but if no team can reach the Man City-esque target, then the team with the most points wins. Simple.
Whilst there's no friendly fire here, you will die after taking lethal damage, so mind yourself, for the love of God, okay? You don't have to worry about some bastard mowing you down with a jeep or picking up some additional weaponry, which is nice, as each battlegrounder (that's a thing, right?) can only down others with what they have on their person.
Remember the words of my fellow countryman Patches O'Houlihan before you go off fighting the good fight in PUBG this evening.