Top 10: TV shows that would make rubbish games.

Inspired by the recent Internet rumour that Eidos has snapped up the rights to develop an Eastenders game, we thought we’d compile Pro-G’s Top 10: TV shows that would make rubbish games. Read on and remember, you heard it here first.

Extreme Makeover – Nintendo Wii and DS

If you haven’t seen it, Extreme Makeover follows the stories of lucky individuals who are given an ultimate makeover, including plastic surgery. What you normally get is middle-aged mums who look like they’ve given up on life all together. You then get the surgeons, stylists, hairdressers and make-up artists in to work their magic. In the Wii and DS game you get to do the lot, from delivering breast augmentations as a surgeon to layering copious amounts of whale blubber onto lips, all applied with the Wii Remote or DS stylus of course. Points are awarded for contestant happiness following the before and after bit of the show. The more down-trodden the contestant, the more difficult the job, but the more points are up for grabs.

Newsnight – Nintendo DS

In this handheld-only game you get to play a BBC news trainee who shadows Jeremy Paxman as he grills terrified politicians, embattled army chiefs and grey-suited representatives from across the business world. The game plays similarly to court-room game Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney. You start as a lowly tea-making researcher who dreams of one day getting their very own studio seat next to the great man himself. Points are awarded from the hard-to-please Paxman, who will offer advice and send you on journalistic assignments. As you climb to the top, you’ll encounter boss battles including making UK PM Gordon Brown stutter, UN secretary general Kofi Annan cry and the head of the Metropolitan Police throw down his mic and storm out in a huff.

Relocation, Relocation, Relocation – Xbox 360, PS3 and PC

You play as either Kirstie Allsopp or Phil Spencer (the game can be played co-operatively on the same platform or online), who are charged with pleasing increasingly annoying couples who delude themselves by thinking they can get amazing houses for a steal because they are on a TV show. You’ll be in charge of researching house prices, giving couples tours, delivering witty remarks with your co-presenter whenever you are on screen and demonstrating unnerving knowledge of the housing market. The game will begin with a couple who will pretty much accept anything you put in front of them, but will end with couples who are hell-bent on rejecting every home you show them, instead deciding against a move because it’s just too stressful. Future DLC will include new locations, locations and locations.

Nothing but the Truth – Xbox 360, PS3 and PC

In this casual game for all the family you assume either the contestant, who is forced to answer increasingly embarrassing questions for money by a virtual Jerry Springer, or as a friend, family member or lover. The game will come with a lie detector of course, and give you achievement points instead of money the further you progress. So expect to answer questions like “have you had sex with a woman older than your mother?”, which will have the whole family in stitches, and “have you ever cheated on your partner/wife?”, which will do wonders for spicing up your relationship.

Match of the Day – Xbox 360, PS3 and PC

This is not a football simulation. No, this is more like a football pundit sim. The game features a next-generation match generator, which plays out like classic football game Sensible Soccer. You need to follow the commentator’s lead, keep a keen eye on the action and deliver insightful, witty comments at a moment’s notice through the revolutionary branching conversation system. You begin covering Conference matches for local radio, but your ultimate goal is to climb the ruthless pundit ladder to the top, passing Championship games for ITV and Goals on Sunday with Chris Kamara on the way to a seat next to every England fan’s favourite Scot, Alan Hansen, on the BBC’s Match of the Day. Only then will you be able to call yourself a world-class pundit.

Hell’s Kitchen – Xbox 360, PS3 and PC

This 18-rated RTS sees you assume the role of foul-mouthed celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay as he battles to make as many would be chefs burst into tears as humanly possible. Not only do you need to manage a team of self-esteem starved chefs as you would in Command & Conquer, but the game utilises a microphone to allow you to deliver soul-destroying insults with copious amounts of swearing. To win, you must turn previously rubbish chefs into world-class ones while swearing as much as possible. Especially filthy words will kick in special moves with spectacular animations, slowing down time so you can see your victim’s face contort in full HD glory. When played online you must battle against other would-be Gordon Ramsays from around the world in an all out filthy mouthed face-off. The first player to make one of their cooks have a nervous breakdown wins.

Changing Rooms – Nintendo Wii, DS and PC

This family-friendly game plays a lot like a less fun version of The Sims. You get to completely ruin someone’s house by painting ridiculous patterns on bedroom walls and turning entire dining areas purple. Choose from over 100 pieces of furniture and thousands of colours as you lead a team of brickies towards home development glory. Your Sims will then react to your work by either breaking down and crying or smiling through gritted teeth, all the while wishing they could take a paint brush and make you eat it. Harder levels give you a tighter budget and less time to complete the conversion, but reward more points.

Late night Five quiz show – Xbox 360 exclusive

This quiz game pits you against presenters of varying annoyance as you battle to solve simple quizzes and gambling games, including hangman and roulette. No money available here, only achievement points, including “realise you can’t win” 10G, “flirt with the presenter” 20G and “expose it for the scam that it is” 30G. The game refuses to confirm you have a chance of winning.

The Weather Report – Xbox 360, PS3 and Nintendo Wii

You battle against the famously unpredictable British weather as a weather girl/man, hell-bent on getting the advice as accurate as possible. The game has multiple modes, including liaising with the Met Office, developing a rapport with your news anchor and ironing your suits. Players use either the PLAYSTATION Eye or the Xbox LIVE Vision cameras to display a real-time picture of themselves against a green-screened 3D map of the UK. Points are awarded for accuracy, presentation and not pointing at Newcastle when you’re talking about Portsmouth. Especially good players may unlock secret levels where you get to deliver the news topless in Kazakhstan.

The National Lottery- all formats

Your task – to win the lottery. How do you do it? Pick your numbers, watch a fruit blender spew out different coloured balls and see if you win. Fear not losing, you have infinite lives. You must be 16 or over to play this game.

What TV shows do you think would make awful video games? Let us know in the comments section below.