So, Tekken 7 is getting another helping of downloadable content, with Negan from The Walking Dead being the undoubtable highlight. Yes, the sweary, baseball-bat wielding nutter played by Jeffrey-Dean Morgan in AMC’s rapidly-decomposing TV adaptation of Robert Kirkman’s apocalyptic comic book series.
Having a gander on Twitter, it’s clear most people are wondering how the bloody hell the leader of the Saviors will fit into the Tekken universe. However, I’d argue his inclusion is not as incongruous as people would think. Remember, this is the fighting series that has included a dancing bear, a farting anime dinosaur, an android, and a bloke who turns into a purple devil and looks like he just got into a ruck with a hair dryer and lost.
Frankly, anything goes in Tekken. And, with the announcement of the aforementioned Negan joining the fray, alongside Anna Williams and Lei Wulong, we thought we’d come up with five other possible candidates who would be ripe for a punch-up in Namco’s flagship fighter.
Yakuza’s resident karaoke-loving, curb-stomping bruiser would be a top fit for the furious fisticuffs offered by Tekken. Kiryu possesses a myriad of different fighting styles that could easily be incorporated into his move set for Tekken 7; after all, it’s not uncommon for a character to have 80+ moves in Namco’s scrapper. As such, it’d be possible to mix Brawler, Beast, and Rush without the need to hit a button to switch things up. Then there’s his Rage Art, which would be a great chance to tap into his penchant for smacking folk over the head with innocuous, everyday objects. I’d love to see him take a sofa or a traffic cone to Heihachi’s wrinkly chops and see him come back from that.
Who doesn’t love a good underdog? Shenmue’s sailor-searching hero Ryo hasn’t really had a chance to shine in the past 15 years when it comes to flexing his fighting prowess (Sonic and All-Stars Racing: Transformed doesn’t count – he was driving a bloody forklift), so Tekken 7 would offer him the perfect stage. Sure, he’s only 18-years-old, but over the course of two Shenmue games he boned up on a range of diverse, often esoteric, fighting styles that would ensure he’d be a match for anyone in Tekken’s universe. In fact, Kiryu vs Hazuki would be an epic ruck. As for his Rage Art, there’s only one possible choice: a legion of forklift trucks that flatten his opponent without mercy, driven by sailors with tattoos on their arms, leading Hazuki to probably conclude with a deadpan ‘I see.’
The masked Mexican made a triumphant comeback in Tekken 5: Dark Resurrection, only to be booted out for Tekken 7. To make matters worse, King went and nicked some of his moves! I think Armour King wouldn’t tolerate this bullshit (I mean, he nonchalantly piledrived King into the ruddy dirt in his Tekken 5 ending), so he should obviously make a comeback in Season Two. Armour King proved that he’s not just a copy-and-paste job of King, being more of a down-and-dirty brawler in comparison to his wrestling rival. Plus, his Rage Art would give Namco the chance to give him something appropriately badass.
Sod it. If Nintendo doesn’t want him in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, then Namco can give the Dick Dastardly wannabe a home in Tekken 7. You’d be wise not to underestimate Luigi’s evil not-brother; he can swing a tennis racket like a pissed-off Pete Sampras, lob bob-ombs up your backside, and generally do Waluigi-like things, such as laughing maniacally and hating other people being happy. So, just the tools you need in a punch-up. He could even bring along partner in crime Wario for his Rage Art.
I mean, come on. If Negan is in Tekken 7, then who else could possibly end his head-smashing shenanigans than the former Officer Friendly? Gravelly Grimes would be a force to be reckoned with, wielding all manner of survival tools: a fucking .357 Magnum, a surprisingly strong fighting style, and a huge beard. Of course, he’d have to be voiced by Andrew Lincoln, as it wouldn’t quite have the same impact otherwise – he’s the yin to Morgan’s yang, after all. Or something like that. Rick could do whatever the hell he likes with Rage Art: shout ‘Carl’ incessantly until he drives his opponent mad or they die of laughter, point his gun at them in that weird downward angle he does, or terrify them with that shitty CGI deer that popped up in that one episode.
To be honest, there’s a bunch of characters who would be more than suited for a ruck in Tekken’s madcap universe. Aside from bringing back classics such as Michelle, Wang, and Bruce, we could easily see anyone from Solid Snake to Goro Majima cracking their knuckles in Mishima Dojo.
Who would you like to see rock up in Tekken 7 next?