Game icons: Where are they now?

The ’80s ’90s were chock-full of classic video game characters – but where are they now? This may or may not be what these icons of years gone by are up to now.

Paperboy

Paper Boy would’ve used the sound financial acumen he gained from working a job at such a young age and would now be in full time admin roles, steady money all the way. Unfortunately, in a tragic twist of irony, Paper Boy is completely illiterate after a childhood spent dealing out newspapers, day-in, day-out.

Pac-Man

Pac-Man now spends his time wandering around games conventions. “That’s a great costume!” some will tell him. He shrugs and says “I just came here to see Black Ops.” He goes there to tut at these crazy modern-day developers. “In my day all you needed was a flashing circle and that was your game!” No one listens to Pac-Man.

Dizzy

Dizzy spent years of his life just trying to find a woman who would love him for what he was – a giant human egg. “It’s hard to meet girls when your arms are growing out of a shell” says Dizzy. “Plus I went off about 19 years ago”.

Horace

Horace now heads his own ski resort, directly next to a busy highway. So far he’s lost 30 per cent of his customers from road accidents alone. Horace was never good at business, but that might be because he doesn’t have hands, or a face.

Manic Miner

Manic Miner was good at his job, but no one needs miners these days. Not in this age of technology and shovels. Luckily his dream of continuously mining isn’t dead yet. Manic heads his own Mining Enthusiasts club on Sundays. No one else has signed up yet, but the hole in his front garden is getting pretty deep.

Rick Dangerous

All Rick ever wanted to do was explore, but now everything’s been explored by that damned Tomb Raider woman. Today Rick is stuck with Lara’s leftovers. He spends his time adventuring around Alberta, Canada and Middlesbrough, UK.

Chuckie Egg

Hen House Harry has a dream. It’s a simple dream of collecting eggs. By the mid-nineties he collected enough eggs to create a conglomerate egg franchise. He sells eggs wholesale at the cheapest price-point you’ll find. How does he do it? By sneaking into other farms and stealing their eggs. It’s called thinking outside the box.

Rampage

It’s hard trying to make a living climbing buildings. Helicopters to the left, tanks to the right. As a giant gorilla George just doesn’t find it practical anymore. In his old age he prefers a quieter pass-time, like hanging off the side of libraries or crawling on top of televisions while Matlock is on.

Frogger

After years of tempting fate in front of on-coming traffic, Frogger became jaded to the faint thrill of dodging vans. Today Frogger has set his sights slightly higher, attempting to dodge aircrafts as they land in rural fields. He is currently MIA.

The Lost Vikings

Like the Beatles, the three Vikings were always better together than they were solo. Erik, Baleog and Olaf each run a competing fast food-chain. Unfortunately only Baleog can switch an oven on, and Erik is only able to run really fast into customers.