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It’s been barely a week since Nintendo unveiled its 3D successor to the DS, and now Sony has hit back with a shock revelation of its own: a next-generation PSP, featuring previously-unseen “No Screen” display technology.
Rather than relying upon a liquid crystal screen, the PSP iMag.iNation creates a wireless connection with the cerebral cortex of its user, projecting raw gameplay directly into the mind via telecommunicative radiation. Once an uplink has been established, users will be able to fully tailor their gaming experience using the power of thought (subject to availability).
“While our rivals tinker with fads from the 1950s, we are looking to the future,” sang Hiroshi Gwinkman, vice under-president of Sony Cerebral Entertainment. “The PSP iMag.iNation will be capable of display resolutions of 9720p and higher, and frame rates as fast as the mental capacity of its owner. It’s, like, way better than Blu-ray.”
The iMag.iNation will also be “a cinch” to develop for, and will be capable of transmitting new releases to US and Japanese users as soon as they’ve been announced – although European gamers will typically have to wait two months.
Planned launch titles include Shenmue 3, a new Killer Instinct title and Duke Nukem Forever. The new device will also be 100 per cent backwards compatible with any game you’ve ever played or read about in a magazine, and will not require any form of batteries. The unit will go on sale next year at an eye-watering RRP of £49,999.99. A cheaper wired version will also be available, although Gwinkman admitted that this will likely require some form of minor surgery.
“Our revolutionary No Screen technology will finally allow gamers to do everything,” he proclaimed. “You’ll be able to play anything, anywhere, at any time – except on March 1st in certain years.”
While the iMag.iNation lacks any form of screen, it does feature a traditional D-Pad and three thumbsticks – the third being located in the upper centre of the unit.
“People kept asking for a second thumbstick, so we figured we’d throw in an extra one just to be sure,” Gwinkman explained. “In fact, we may add a few more before next year’s launch.”
Sony’s surprise reveal was telepathically broadcast into the minds of select press members at around 4pm today, Toyko time. Unfortunately this meant that the announcement caught most UK-based writers on their way to work, resulting in several car crashes and at least five fatalities.
