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I don’t know how long I’ve spent wishing for a game where you have to carefully shave a man’s face – I couldn’t possibly quantify the sentiment with a solid figure – but Magnetic Shaving Derby has finally answered that call.
I’ve only ever shaved with one of today’s hand-holding safety razors, although mine admittedly has four dangerous blades contained within; still, the sight of something like a barber’s straight razor is enough to fill me with dread. The disembodied head in Magnetic Shaving Derby, drawn in a loving MS Paint style, is made of stronger stuff than I, however, and is willing to let you lop off tussles of his face hairs by attracting a razor blade with a magnet. I can’t see anything that might go wrong with that.
You’ll inevitably run the precariously wobbly magnet over lips and eyes, inciting wide-eyed looks of terror and muffled screams. It’s also a sure-fire way to fluff up your score multiplier, which should be your primary concern, and a blood meter at the bottom of the screen details how much of the red stuff your victim/patient has left to bleed: run out and it’s an immediate game over.
There are two ways to play: you either by pull the magnet around using the touch screen, or by tilting the phone. The idea is to shave off all the hair as quickly as possible (in time trial) or to rack up as many shaving points within three minutes (in score attack), all while trying to hoover up the vegetables, fruits and bubblegum that drop down from the top of the screen.
The power-ups are the key. A ninja star will cause your blade to spin in a circle, for instance, making it much easier to trim those stray hairs on the edges, whereas picking up a cucumber causes two slices to cover the eyes and act as a versatile (and tasty) shield. Some pick-ups are less useful than others: running over a pimple will also temporarily reverse the polarity of the magnet, causing all kinds of grief as the razor blade rockets away straight into some delicate face areas.
Controls are quite finicky, whichever method you pick. I prefer the tilt, as it feels more attuned to the overall experience, but anyone looking for the game to respond precisely – for the optimal high-score run – will probably get quite frustrated when they nick the guy’s eye in the middle of a delicate shave. Still, it’s all a bit of fun, and I doubt you’d ever consider playing Magnetic Shaving Derby for your serious gaming fix in the first place.
You don’t need Magnetic Shaving Derby, of course. It doesn’t demand your attention – it’s simply a charming, silly, completely unessential purchase that’s quite nice to have.
