Top 10 Ways to be a Better Gamer

Fed up of having the stuffing kicked out of you in Street Fighter? Bored of finishing last place in Gran Turismo? Annoyed by the constant mockery from friends who laugh at your position on the Geometry Wars leaderboards? Well fear not friend, you’ve come to the right place. Using the combined knowledge of the world’s best gamers and industry experts (i.e. us), we’ve compiled a list of ten fool-proof methods for becoming a better gamer. And by fool-proof we might in fact mean foolish.

Finger work-outs

Your thumbs and index fingers are your primary weapon in the battle to become a gaming god. To be at the top of your game (excuse the pun) you’re going to need to put your fingers through a strict training regime. Twenty reps of weights on each finger a day is a good way to start – we recommend taping a two-pound coin to each finger for best results. The classic playground ‘thumb war’ is a great way to increase your thumb muscles too, so challenge friends and family to a quick game whenever possible.

Knowledge is power

Physical prowess is only half the battle. Every cyber-athlete knows that a healthy mind is just as important as healthy hands. With a greater knowledge of the industry and games in general, your natural ability as a player will increase. Read gaming magazines, listen to podcasts instead of music, watch developer walkthroughs, set www.videogamer.com as your homepage. Know everything there is to know, but never, ever use cheats.

Make use of demos

For those without a disposable income, video games can be quite expensive. So, if you’re stuck for something to play, and worried you’ll get out the loop – get yourself on Xbox LIVE or PSN to download a demo. Without spending a penny, you can play (a small portion of) all the latest games whilst keeping your knowledge of the industry sharp at the same time.

Play online whenever possible

Whilst artificial intelligence can offer a relatively formidable challenge, the real experts of a game are other players, just like you. Only they’re better. Much, much better. Playing online will put you in contact with the best of the best, people that will really put your abilities to the test – people you can learn from. If you think you’re good at a certain game, playing it online will really put your skills in perspective.

Coffee and Red Bull

Sleeping is a waste of time. It’s unproductive, boring, and time better spent playing games. If you’re up playing Call of Duty and your eyelids start to feel heavy, put on the kettle and make yourself a cup of coffee, but if that’s not your thing, Red bull is equally as effective at keeping the Sandman at bay. We’re not advocating that you should stop sleeping entirely, just curtail your time in the land of nod to help maximise your gaming output.

Dual-Wielding

A bit of fore-warning here: this method is hard. Once mastered however, the pay-offs are unparalleled. What you’re going to need is two screens or monitors, two consoles, and two different games. With everything all hooked up and turned on, you can play two games simultaneously. This means you can increase your proficiencies with two games, at the same time! Shooters, racers and other games that require quick reaction times aren’t good choices here, however, so choose your games wisely.

Boycott summer

The sun is overrated; why not stay in and play some games? Whilst everybody else is wasting away their lives playing football, making friends and getting a tan, you can be getting one up on the competition in front of the TV. Come September, when the sun’s gone and everybody returns to their consoles, your friends will be shocked to discover that they can no longer hold a candle to your unparalleled gaming skills.

Turn life itself into a game

If you’re forced to leave the comfort of your home, make sure to use the time away from video games to your advantage. If you’re driving to work – take the racing line. If you’re getting picked on at school – hurricane kick a bully in the face. When you’re finished at the gym – shout ‘level up!’ as you leave. Also, take your pet with you wherever you go, and if you see another animal, force them to battle.

NOTE: We do not suggest practising any skill related to the GTA franchise. No killing prostitutes, kids.

Join the army

Taking our previous suggestion one step further, why not join the army? If the majority of games you play are shooters, then getting some experience in a real-world war situation could be just the ticket. Of course there are no checkpoints or respawns this time around, but the knowledge and tactics acquired from a real-world battlefield will transfer to games such as Modern Warfare or Bad Company seamlessly.

Ditch the boyfriend / girlfriend, or leave your wife / husband and kids.

Admittedly this is a somewhat drastic approach, but the results are second to none. Without a partner or child consuming your time and attention, your gaming skills will improve exponentially. Time previously spent making love, shopping for birthday presents or packing the kids’ lunch-boxes can instead be spent grinding in WoW or practising with sniper rifles in Halo 3. As an added bonus, you’ll also have more money to spend on new games. Winner!