The best ever pirates in video games ever

In celebration of the final, full release of Rare’s swashbuckling PvP adventure Sea of Thieves, we’ve taken a look back at some of the greatest pirates that have ever graced the seven seas and/or our screens, and produced this definitive and final list of the best pirates in video games ever.

Edward Kenway

Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag is usually thought of fondly, possibly because we were all just really relieved it wasn’t somehow a re-release of Assassin’s Creed III – like, we’d all get the boxes home and open them and then it turned out to be the AC3 disc and a note from Yves Guillemot going ‘HAHA SUCKERS IT’S THIS ONE AGAIN!’

But it was also down to Black Flag having a charismatic frontman, a swash buckling ne’er do well with the breeze in his hair and a twinkle in his eye. Edward was a grubby blonde Welsh pirate from Swansea, and was performed and mocapped by Swansea native Matt Ryan, meaning that the character as a whole is fleshed out and convincing. Playing as Edward, you get to pal around with famous pirates from history, like Blackbeard, Anne Bonny, and Mary Read in the least convincing drag you’ve ever seen, proving, if nothing else, that pirates were incredibly unobservant.

LeChuck

Controversial to put a character from Monkey Island on this list and it not be Guybrush Threepwood, I know, but Guybrush isn’t really that successful a pirate when you think about it (although if you come from the angle that the real piracy was the self-belief we found along the way then he’s does alright). But the main series antagonist LeChuck is a true, piratey pirate, with all horrible teeth and a great big bushy beard and a massive hat. He’s got one of those old fashioned coats with the big cuffs and a pirate ship and a crew, and a cutlass, these all being necessary accoutrements for good piracy. He’s also usually depicted as being undead, which makes him even more terrifying, like how Blackbeard or whoever used to set his beard on fire – but sometimes LeChuck has a beard that’s entirely made of fire! So that’s way better! Granted LeChuck’s quest to forcibly marry Elaine Marley isn’t one to be admired, but that’s why he’s the bad guy. 

This entry would have been Murray, but he’s less a pirate and more a demonic talking skull. This doesn’t stop him from being basically the best character in the series, so please stay tuned for a ‘Best skulls in supporting roles in video games’ list, or possibly ‘Best skulls in video games that are named Murray and who make their first appearance in the third entry in a series and then proceed to steal the whole show.’

That bit in Uncharted 4 where Sam Drake pretends to be a pirate and says ‘Avast, you dirty dawg!’

God bless you, Troy Baker.

Edward Kenway

As AC protagonists go, Kenway is an interesting character because he starts the game as an inherently selfish figure, allying himself with whichever cause helps him the most and spending literally years avoiding teaming up with the assassins. It’s only when Edward achieves the fame and fortune he always wanted and realises he’s still not happy that he turns back to the Creed to fix the mistakes he made. It’s a swashbuckling piratical adventure, but with heart too!

That one from Final Fantasy XII you all like, what’s his name? Balthier. That one

I never played Final Fantasy XII but even I have to admit that as things to put down as your job on a census go, ‘sky-pirate’ is a pretty baller one. In fact, let us please hasten research into airships (cool sky-pirate ones, not fireballs-in-waiting like the Hindenburg kind) so we can all make an amazing change of career. Balthier is pretty great because he’s a rogue but with his heart in the right place and his legs in tight black leather trousers. My research indicates that he’s a cocky, charismatic type who uses his levity and supposed disconnection to direct away from his tragic past and vulnerability, which I could have told you without doing any research because that’s the case with all rogue types ever these days. Balthier is such a fan favourite that, for the release of Final Fantasy XII The Zodiac Age, Square Enix released a video explaining the game’s combat system and included having more time to look at Balthier as a reason to master it. ‘Dreamy’ – Square’s official PR line on Balthier. 

Still Edward Kenway

Yes mate. Matey. Y’arrr.