Sunday Supplement – 30th October

Comic courtesy of Fat Gamers.

Conspiracy theory number one

It’s getting silly now, so much so that I can afford to speculate that this entire hullabaloo is in fact predetermined. Rockstar Games (which you will find under the entry “notorious” in the Oxford English Dictionary) are smiling. Let the fun begin.

So if they are having theirs, I’ll have mine. Pre-requisite first: what I am about to say is in jest, as any right thinking member of society would realise (thus I narrowly escape libelling anyone), but it shows how far this weird cosy love-in has gone.

Keith Vaz, former minister and Labour MP for Leicester East, asked the government this week to ban Bully. Bully isn’t even out yet, and, amazingly, Commons leader Geoff Hoon replied with restraint. But the ‘damage’ has been done.

And, by ‘damage’, I of course mean ‘work’. Controversial? Why not. The way Mr Vaz and Mr Thompson go after Rockstar (the adjectives “unrelentless“, “irrational” and “deluded” come to mind), you could perhaps suggest they were fully paid up members on the Take Two payroll. I wonder, if it were quantifiable, what percentage of Take Two’s profit is down to those two.

Sure, it’s not true, but you would think these two esteemed social commentators would have their heads screwed on tight enough to realise they are actually helping to sell the very games they despise. Surely if it’s fragile, impressionable children they’re concerned about, they would go about their business in a non-sensationalist way. They don’t. Mr Thompson bloody well doesn’t. Any conclusions?

Impressionable children aren’t the priority here. It’s personal gain. It’s climbing the ladder. It’s making a louder noise than the other guy. It’s using an issue many parents know little about and whipping up a storm. Maybe, just maybe, Mr Vaz and Mr Thompson really do believe violent videogames turn children into killers. Fair enough, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, however deluded. But don’t ever fall into the trap of thinking ‘the children’ are the number one priority for these guys. Oh no.

Conspiracy theory number two

The whole point, you would imagine, of first mover advantage, is to actually gain some kind of advantage. Funny then, that Microsoft do not seem to be taking advantage of first mover advantage, thus gaining the, err, advantage.

This week Microsoft CFO Chris Liddell suggested the number of 360 consoles shipped this Christmas will be even lower than previously thought. We all know what that means: the elves have had enough and Santa might not be able to chuck a next-generation console down every excited little boy’s chimney come December 25th.

Which might cause some amount of derision. Parents, especially non-gaming parents, simply can’t understand why they shouldn’t receive a game product the day it’s released if they have pre-ordered it. And why should they?

As someone who has grown up with game delays, empty game boxes and sold-out stickers, even though I paid my £2 at GAME five months ago, I’m used to it. I’m so used to it, I accept it. But Mr and Mrs Smith, of Surrey, won’t. They are not used to it. If they give a snotty sales assistant a deposit for a game console, they expect to pick it up the day it’s released. There’s absolutely no chance Santa isn’t delivering on time in their neck of the woods.

So where does that leave the 360, and gaming in general? Hanging off the edge of a cliff I’d say. Consumers are going to be mighty disappointed if they don’t get a 360 this Christmas. When you put a deposit down on a product and still can’t get it, no matter what the product is, you are harming the product. Christmas, more than any time, is when non-gamers dip their toes into the electronic entertainment pool. If a shark bites, they’re unlikely to return.

But let’s step back. Could it be a trade-off Microsoft is willing to make? Officially they would have us believe that the little elves Mr Gates keeps in his dungeon are working overtime to make as many boxes of magic as they can. But maybe, come December 2nd, when the mainstream media report that 360s are sold out across the globe, it won’t be all that bad. Maybe the kudos has been planned all along. Maybe it’s a deliberate ploy.

Maybe they have plenty of 360s and just don’t want to ship them all. Hell, they could be piling high in a warehouse near you as we speak. But if every little Jonny got a 360 this Christmas, there would be no little Jonnys mugging the lucky Jonnys – in full view of the cameras. You just can’t buy publicity like that.

Conspiracy theory number three

Blizzard put a subliminal message into World of Warcraft. It basically ran along the lines of: “give us your money.” It worked, pretty well in fact. But they forgot one thing. They forgot to include the magical word: “keep“.

So, we have The Burning Crusade, the recently announced expansion to World of Warcraft. They’ve added two new races (one of which is the Blood Elves), a new continent called Outland, flying mounts, a new profession, jewel crafting, a super bad boss of doom, loads of new instanced dungeons, a city, and raised the level cap to 70. Phew.

What a gravy train. Such is the unrivalled success of WoW, they could have farted at BlizzCon and 7000 young white men would have fainted with excitement. Still, it does pique the interest. But then again, perhaps it doesn’t. It sounds great for higher level players, but there’s not much there for casual players. It could be Blizzard don’t care. More likely, they’re happy with the number of subscriptions they have and are focused on consolidation rather than another major sign-up push. To this end, the expansion will be successful.

You just know as soon as it’s released everyone and their dog will be starting a new Blood Elf on a new server. The World of Warcraft will be filled with Blood Elves butchering each other. I’d wager this will last for about a week, then everyone will concentrate on getting up to 70 before everyone else. Note to self – start saving for flying mount. Oh yeah, book holiday to coincide with expansion release – can’t be getting left behind now can we?

This week on Pro-G

Just in case you missed anything, here’s a list of all the articles posted on the site this week.

Reviews

Marvel Nemesis: Rise of the Imperfects (PS2, Xbox and Cube)

MetalHeart: Replicants Rampage (PC)

Top Spin (PS2)

X-Men Legends II: Rise of Apocalypse (PS2, Xbox, Cube and PC)

F.E.A.R. (PC)

Rome: Total War – Barbarian Invasion (PC)

This week’s new releases

It’s another busy week for new releases, with plenty to choose from on all platforms. Activision has released Tony Hawk’s America Wasteland on all three home consoles and Star Wars: Battlefront II on PC, Xbox and PS2 (a PSP version is due in November).

If handhelds are more your thing, then Pac ‘n Roll on the DS is a nice simple Monkey Ball-like ball rolling game, but this time with the ball obviously being Pac-Man. SSX on Tour hits the PSP, and Makai Kingdom arrives on the PlayStation 2, for anyone who didn’t pick the game up on import months ago.

If anything is to be avoided it’s Marvel Nemesis: Rise of the Imperfects on the Nintendo DS. The home console versions weren’t good, but the DS version is worse. Without Warning from Capcom and Circle Studios also seems to be on the end of some rather brutal reviews, despite looking promising a few months back.

• Call of Cthulhu: Dark Corners of the Earth (Xbox)
• City of Villains (PC)
• Dancing Stage: Mario Mix (Cube)
• Dead to Rights II (PS2, Xbox)
• Duel Masters: Shadow of the Code (GBA)
• Makai Kingdom: Chronicles of the Sacred Tome (PS2)
• Marvel Nemesis: Rise of the Imperfects (DS)
• Operation Flashpoint: Elite (Xbox)
• Pac ‘n Roll (DS)
• Pro Evolution Soccer 5 (PC)
• SSX On Tour (PSP)
• Starship Troopers (PC)
• Star Wars: Battlefront II (PS2, Xbox and PC)
• The Suffering: Ties That Bind (PS2, Xbox, PC)
• Tony Hawk’s American Wasteland (PS2, Xbox, Cube)
• X3: Reunion (PC)
• Vietcong 2 (PC)
• Without Warning (PS2, Xbox)

Next week on Pro-G

We should have plenty of reviews on the site next week, including Quake 4, Vietcong 2, SSX on Tour, The Warriors, FIFA 06 and more.