Just what is going on with Konami and Hideo Kojima?

Hideo Kojima is missing. He’s not on the side of a milk carton or anything, and as far as I know he’s not been presumed dead. But the usually ebullient director – known for tweeting his daily meals – has been unusually quiet since March 16th, save for retweets. It appears he’s had a falling out with Konami, and is reportedly leaving the company after the Phantom Pain comes out and makes a trillion dollars.

So where exactly is he?

Well, he’s probably finishing off that massive f***ing game that’s coming out terrifyingly soon. That’s probably it. But being out of the spotlight is a very un-Kojima move, and it’s stressing people out. Fans are cooking up theories as to what has happened, and there have been demands for Kojima to emerge and explain himself, including this one. (As an aside: if you’re a journalist and are that bothered by exactly where Kojima is, then shouldn’t you be, um, trying to find out yourself?)

Now, I’m not particularly bothered where Kojima is, above and beyond ‘at the office’ or ‘somewhere in the world, as long as it is making Metal Gear Solid 5: The Phantom Pain.’ What is more interesting, to me at least, is what exactly happened between the two parties. Kojima leaving Konami was likely to happen at some point: at 51, and with each Metal Gear taking years to produce, he may want to pursue other projects while he can. But the assumption would be the firm would play up his last game with them, especially his last Metal Gear Solid Game. Kojima, ever the auteur, closing out the series in style. You can just imagine voiceover man saying it now: ‘The final chapter in the legendary saga’…’No place for Hideo’…’Hideo Kojima’s last gasp’. (Perhaps not.)

Instead, we’ve got someone at the firm scrubbing Kojima’s name from his old games, as well as The Phantom Pain. (And then adding it again to the older titles, with no explanation given, because f*** you Kojima, we’re in charge here.) While it may be the case that Kojima had asked for the initial removal of his name (although you’d have to question why), even with it being added again it doesn’t look particularly good for Konami. It appears, if nothing else, to be spiteful and childish. And it is also fair to say that, for its part, Konami has not handled this situation very well, at all. An ongoing radio silence (bar a few statements) has merely fueled speculation, and refusing the answer the only question everyone is asking – is Hideo Kojima leaving Konami? – is only making things worse.

Another question: just how long can Konami keep this up? With The Phantom Pain in its final stages – and no doubt about to be the subject of a collosal marketing push – does the publisher really want everything it says about the game from now on to be followed with ‘But, yeah, where’s Kojima?’ It’s a delicate situation – we have no idea of the nature of the relationship between the two entities, bar from the fact it looks totally borked. For all we know, Kojima could be the antagonist (if there is one), not Konami. Konami also has other commitments to keep, and people to please, so it may not even be able to say anything.

Whatever happens, it’s one of the biggest stories of the year, and it’s barely got going yet. Details will invariably emerge: the split is so big, the players so famous, that it will be near impossible for them not to. At this point, no-one knows anything, and this will run and run until it all comes out.

Still, in the spirit of video games journalism, despite not knowing anything I’m going to posit some theories about just what has happened to Hideo Kojima at Konami. Pay attention.

Theory One: Kojima, in a fit of rage over an imagined slur aimed towards Midge Ure, has refused to carry on production until Konami issues a statement apologising. Konami, despite having no proof that such a slur was even uttered – and being not strictly sure who Midge Ure is – is only willing to apologise to Midge personally. Tensions are mounted.

Theory Two: Kojima, enraged that his bonus for the year was a BMW, has been holding the president of Konami hostage for weeks now, threatening to shoot him and the executive board unless the car is returned and an apology issued in Vanity Fair. Rumours persist that Robocop has been sent in to sort the whole thing out, but that’s just paper talk.

Theory Three: Konami, convinced that Kojima is on the wane, is in talks to sell him to 505 Games for an undisclosed fee. The firm plans on replacing him with the director of Don’t Be Nervous Talking to Girls.

Theory Four: Kojima is just taking the piss. That’s probably it.