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Let’s set the scene: you’ve just taken Schalke from debt-riddled mediocrity to a Champions League spot in 2028. The defensive counter-attack strategy is humming along like a perfectly-tuned engine. You’ve got a young, hungry squad, bolstered by players like Gavi and Cubarsi poached from a bankrupt Barcelona. You’re top of the Bundesliga, everything is going well, and then—absolute chaos.
Enter the true antagonist of Football Manager: the dressing room.
Our furious manager took to Reddit to share a tale of betrayal so deep that even Game of Thrones might turn around say, “Too much, mate.” After years of slogging, Schalke is within touching distance of glory. But then the unimaginable happens: Bayern Munich, that eternal thorn in every Bundesliga side, comes sniffing around for Schalke’s two brightest regens—a rock-solid center-back and a lethal striker. It’s the ultimate nightmare scenario.
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Naturally, he says, “Not a chance,” refusing to sell two title-deciding players to their biggest rival in the middle of the season. Fair enough. But that’s when the dressing room erupts, demanding the classic, a meeting. Picture the scene: 15 players, including the captain, in one room, insisting these stars should be allowed to waltz over to Bayern. You would rightfully be absolutely livid.
This is where FM’s, pretty-questionable, morale system goes full pantomime. With no option to respond, “Have you all lost the plot?” our manager is forced to keep it civil. He declines the transfer requests diplomatically, but this decision apparently turns him into public enemy number one in the dressing room. From then on, Schalke goes on an eight-loss streak, with the dressing room about as united as Manchester United under Erik ten Hag.
The kicker? After he finally gives in and sells the two stars to Bayern, the same players drag him into another team meeting to complain about letting the players leave. It’s Football Manager at it’s absolute worst. In a moment of supreme irony, the manager’s sanity snaps, with his frustrated outburst echoing through the house loud enough to make his girlfriend think he was under attack.
Cue the ultimate FM revenge fantasy.
Instead of rage-quitting or rebooting, our manager goes scorched earth. Using a custom database, he dials every single trait of his rebel squad down to a soul-crushing one out of twenty, cranks up their injury proneness to 20, and relocates the entire squad to a team in the icy wilderness of the Russian lower leagues. With 15-year contracts earning them a generous £15 per week, they’re left to contemplate their betrayal in -40°C. This is the digital equivalent of banishing them to Siberia—literally.
To all FM fans reading this, there’s a lesson here. In a game where your carefully built empire can be torn down by rogue AI, sometimes the only solution is to get creative. The frozen, injury-prone squad will be spending their winters learning that loyalty isn’t just an attribute in the game—it’s what keeps you out of Russia’s lower divisions.
In the end, this story reminds us that Football Manager is as much about managing heartbreak as it is about tactics. And next time, Schalke, maybe think twice before challenging the manager who has the keys to the editor.
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