Worst Motion Control Peripherals

Aah, motion controller peripherals. They light up our lives for about half an hour and then take up space in a box in the garage. But some don’t even last that long. Let’s take a look at some of the worst the market has to offer!

Babysitting Mama Wiimote

DON’T DO THIS AT HOME. DO NOT USE WIIMOTE AS REPLACEMENT BABY SPINE.

Kinect Game Boat

You know, whenever I think about what is missing from Kinect I often think “inflatable boats”. But lucky for us we’ll finally be able to pay money to physically jump on a boat with Game Boat Play On. Jump on the carpet? What is this, medieval time?

Wiimote Kitchen Utensils

Somewhere Gertrude Stein is crying. But for the remaining ladies who like to mop off feminism with the nearest janitorial device there’s always Wiimote Kitchen Utensils, the peripheral to Cooking Mama: Cook Off. Perfect for the lady in your life, circa 1960.

Wii Shark Gun

For those who like their accessories to be both bizarre and useless, here is the Wii shark gun. It’s a gun! It’s a shark! Gark!

Move Sports Victory Set

Like sports? Like standing next to sofas? Move Sports Victory Set is the next logical step. It’s a peripheral basically built for anyone with a casual interest in LARPing sports.

Wii Fishing Rod

Fishing: the laziest of the sports. You might as well tie a string to a stick and sit on your couch – Oh wait!

The Wii Wheel

Sure, it makes sense for the driving game conceit but it also has the amazing ability to make everyone holding it look like they’ve been stealing parts from a junk yard.

Pool Cue for Wii

This has that vague computerised perfectness of a CAD concept, like it was never intended for production. It’s less “Pub pool” and more “tat I found from the set of 2001: A Space Odyssey”.

Move Shooting Attachment

Guns look inherently cool, so it’s unfortunate that all Move guns will end up looking like a robot dog face blowing bubble gum.

Move Boxing Gloves

Want to feel like a real professional boxer? Now you can stop using your mother-in-law’s oven mitts to play The Fight. Move Boxing Gloves allow you to play games without having to wipe the reams of palm sweat off your controller immediately afterwards.