Dead or Alive 5 Review for Xbox 360

On: Xbox 360PS3
Dead or Alive 5 screenshot
Dead or Alive 5 screenshot

"Oh my god!" screams Tina as she falls to her feet, pushing her heaving breasts together and panting. As she sweats on the floor, waiting for you to press continue, you have the option to swing the camera around, zoom in and admire the gorgeous character model.

This is Dead or Alive 5 in a nutshell. It's taken what used to be a cheeky bonus you could ignore and now forces you to deep throat every sexual innuendo, suggestion and enthusiastic moan. It's a softcore porno that replaces the sex with fighting but the foreplay is all there - whether it's welcome or not.

The glue which binds the game together is a campaign which sees 71 outrageously sexual cutscenes stitched together with fights. You'll watch new girl on the block Mila pick up a 'hidden' camcorder after she showers in the gym, and Zack perv on each and every girl whenever possible. Even the scenes with Tina and her father Bass feel incredibly incestuous.

Naturally, the game also has the most terrible voice acting you'll experience this year. Tina's southern drawl, Christie's 'English' and Helena's faux-French all grind at the ears while they drone away the awful script. Thankfully, brave gamers planning on watching each cutscene in full are at least rewarded with an achievement.

Redemption is found in the way each Story Mode bout gives you the chance to experience a huge variety of characters from the game's roster and acclimatise to the game's basic mechanics. Mini challenges are presented prior to each match and, similar to Street Fighter IV, players are encouraged to take part and unlock hundreds of new titles, including one that asks you to play 3000 online matches as each character. Yowch.

Dead or Alive 5 screenshot

It's the kind of game you wouldn't want your mum to walk in on, then, but ultimately it's the fighting that counts. While it might not suit the Street Fighter hardcore, DoA's parry-focused combat has its fair share of exhilarating moments, as combos flow into one another with enough precision and elegance to make any new player feel immediately accomplished.

Most of the roster feels familiar and unchanged, though overpowered bruisers like Ryu Hayabusa - who caused concern during Dead or Alive 4's heyday - have been balanced. The Ninja Gaiden star's previously high damage output does appear to have been reduced to keep in-line with his lightning fast pace, which should come as good news to anyone unfortunate enough to have be matched up against the ninja in previous games.

'Tits, thongs and throws, it still offers everything you'd expect from Team Ninja's famous fighter, though maturing fans might find themselves put off by all the titillation.'

A few new moves have also been added, freshening up characters with additional combo possibilities. New to the series are flashy Power Blows, which activate once a character has charged up a special move after taking a certain amount of damage.
Also updated are the game's ubiquitous interactive stages. While some feel like a rehash of Dead or Alive 4, there are key changes to most of the stages to emphasise the interactive elements. One trigger launches a water raft down rapids, while another causes construction work to swing widely across the stage.

These multi-level arenas frame the usual fighting modes: Survival, Arcade, Tag Arcade and Time Attack, though the latter sadly doesn't feature the fruity top-ups anymore.

Much of Dead or Alive 5's brawling and balking will take place online, with the game re-using the same grade-based leveling mechanic from the last iteration. Though whether the netcode is up to the task will be determined post-launch, as Tecmo Koei did not make the game's online servers available for review.

Despite originally pitching itself as a more serious fighter, Dead or Alive 5 stays very true to its roots by offering a gentler introduction to the genre. Tits, thongs and throws, it still offers everything you'd expect from Team Ninja's famous fighter, though maturing fans might find themselves put off by all the titillation.

Version Tested: PlayStation 3

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User Comments

lilrock's Avatar

lilrock

she show do know how to fight
Posted 00:19 on 08 October 2012
lilrock's Avatar

lilrock

she rock
Posted 00:18 on 08 October 2012
Bloodstorm's Avatar

Bloodstorm

"It is a very serious fighter in my view"


Hahaha, this f*cking guy.
Posted 12:14 on 04 October 2012
Springborn's Avatar

Springborn

Clearly it was a girl that reviewed this and you did'nt have to scroll down to figure that out! ;)

It is a very serious fighter in my view, and having good looking models does'nt change this. Unless "maturing fans" has changed sexual preferences, (well scrap that, the male characters are fabulous aswell!) I don't believe this is something they'll put down or be afraid of showing to their mother. (Usually maturing fans also don't have to worry about this since most of them don't like with them anymore, but we'll let that one slide! -_-)

Anyways, the cons are subjective. I for one found it tiering to constant hit people who are down for fruit in survival. Also storymode should be short and build character personality, while keeping a good paste, which it does in my view. The short story bits fill a gab between a fight, eider with humor, "make sence to continue"-scenes, or other features that eider gives hints to who mix well in tag teams, or "entertaines" etc. That said the sexual content and it's related humor in the storymode was probably lost on you, so I can see how females would view this as a complete waste of time. But if you are a man, the joke about Mila "forgetting her cam" is just as funny as the everylasting brawl of Eliot and Brad Wong for the last cookie. (Cmon even you must admit that was pritty funny!) ;)
Posted 02:16 on 04 October 2012
p0rtalthinker's Avatar

p0rtalthinker

Was a bit sad that Dave wasn't reviewing this haha. Oh well good read Lauren :)
Posted 21:15 on 26 September 2012
rbevanx's Avatar

rbevanx

I have zero interest in this.

Still have Catherine to do for my perveted entertainment and that's a cracking game when I last played it, it's just so damm hard!
Posted 17:06 on 25 September 2012
pblive's Avatar

pblive

I'm still looking forward to this...er...for the fighting of course.

I loved the original, DoA 3 and DoA Ultimate (2 seemed more balanced in that), wasn't so keen on 4 though.
Posted 16:19 on 25 September 2012
atheistium's Avatar

atheistium@ Clockpunk

Haha, nope! First thing he did is get Tina's jubblies out! He's never shy about this stuff in front of me which hopefully is a good thing and that he's comfortable around me :) he's less lads lads lads with me though ;) a complete sweetheart (ruins daves image)
Posted 14:39 on 25 September 2012
Bloodstorm's Avatar

Bloodstorm@ LandGrazer

I mean using that type of language.
Posted 14:37 on 25 September 2012
Clockpunk's Avatar

Clockpunk@ atheistium

They do say the tease is always more exciting/evocative. ;) But hopefully Injustice won't feature bikinis/overly scanty cladding for its female roster.

Just out of mild curiosity, Lauren, did Dave ever blush/look sheepish playing scantily attired female fighters wih you, or did he pick male ones to avoid any potential awkwardness? :p
Posted 14:30 on 25 September 2012
atheistium's Avatar

atheistium@ Clockpunk

Actually I started playing it and was enjoying the awkward porno cut scenes as Dave was hating it :D then I kept playing and... well the problem is that it's so porny that it makes no sense! Shame because DOA was more fun when it was that tiny bit more subtle.
Posted 14:28 on 25 September 2012
Clockpunk's Avatar

Clockpunk

Eh, Netherrealm Studios' titles are the only fighting games for me - ever since the ravesty that was DoA2, DoA 4, Soul Calibur IV, and 2D arcade releases (such as Skull Girls) - all of which have disappointed.

The original DoA was a fun title to play - the only such game in the series, unfortunately.
Posted 13:44 on 25 September 2012
squidman's Avatar

squidman@ squidman

WHICH WAS BALLS.
Posted 13:28 on 25 September 2012
squidman's Avatar

squidman@ Clockpunk

I think Lauren was super kind to it. I played it the other day and I don't think I've been so dismissive of a fighting game since Soul Calibur III.

(Not that I'm saying I don't like Lauren's review, which I think is a fair and decent review)
Posted 13:28 on 25 September 2012
Clockpunk's Avatar

Clockpunk

As soon as I saw who the freelance reviewer was, I *knew* what it would say/complain about before even clicking the link... and was spot on

I'm sure we'll hear Dave's thoughts on this weeks podcast.

Edit: not a criticism of either review or reviewer, just an observation that the latter tends to get picked to review titles of questionable sexist value. :p
Posted 13:24 on 25 September 2012

Game Stats

Technical Specs
Dead or Alive 5
7
Out of 10
Dead or Alive 5
  • Cliffhangers and interactive maps are exciting additions to fights
  • Character models are stunning (if a little jiggly)
  • Time attack and survival modes don't feel as fun without the fruit bonuses
  • Story mode is nothing but wank bank material
Agree? Disagree? Get Involved!
Release Date: 28/09/2012
Platforms: Xbox 360 , PS3
Developer: Team Ninja
Publisher: Tecmo Koei
Genre: Fighting
Rating: TBC
Site Rank: 466
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