There are moments which really crystallise what makes games different as a medium. Piloting a tentacled sex robot — one which made erotic moaning noises whenever it bumped into a wall — was, for me, one of them. Interpret this how you will. 

The April update for Watch Dogs 2 is one of two halves. The first, the free update, is really the meatier of the two: the in-game races are now playable in multiplayer; there are new clothes (including a jumper with a cat on it); there's a paintball gun you can use to shoot people and/or draw a knob on the floor; there's a big new 2v2 PvP mode. The second half, No Compromise, is mostly a new story mission called The Moscow Gambit, which is about porn. I'm sure there's another joke to be made about meat here, but we're better than that.

I played the starting mission for The Moscow Gambit, which took about 15 minutes (the full thing will be about an hour). In it Marcus ends up piggy-backing the camera network in a porn studio. There are several movies being shot, although they're having read-throughs and blocking shots rather than in full swing (a complex swing, with many straps). DedSec have been provoked by the Russian behind it all, who has a last name that 50/50 you'll be able to guess without me telling you. The whole thing did make me snicker, but not in a knowing, sophisticated way. This DLC will not pair well with cheese and wine. Given the subject matter, though, there's still room for the mission to veer into some dark topics that need careful handling. But given the existence of a tentacled sex robot it seems unlikely.

watch dogs 2 paintball

The other bits to the No Compromise DLC are similarly unsubtle. There are three full outfits, and vehicles to go with them, that let you impersonate a police officer, paramedic or a fireman (with DedSec themed squad car, ambulance and fire engine). I found the fireman the most entertaining, but will not spoil the specifics of the new fireman-unique emote. When you turn on the fire engine siren it segues into a dance track.

So, dressed as a fireman, in a fake abs t-shirt, I entered the multiplayer fray. Showdown offers three new PvP modes, over 15 maps. Doomload is a kind of king-of-the-hill mode where you have to stay in range of a wireless transmitter to get your download to 100%, whilst also killing any of the opposing team who're trying to do the same thing. Hack/Protect is an attack and defence game involving three servers, and is pretty self explanatory. The final mode, which was the most fun, was a first-to-three race to steal HDDs that spawned in the area, and it was the most fun because it happened in public areas, therefore increasing the likelihood that the police got involved by approximately 100%. 

All of these modes benefited whenever we remembered that not only could we shoot each other, but we also all had magical hacker powers. The field of battle became covered in boobytraps, cars were remotely steered into motorbikes, and drones were exterminated with extreme prejudice.

It doesn't feel like GTA Online is about to get knocked off its throne (especially since the shape of its arse is now so deeply impressed upon the cushion), but the update seems like a hefty enough chunk to get to grips with, especially for free, and especially if you like PvP. On the other hand, if you're getting multiplayer fatigue and want a big bit of single player, there's no way to tell if No Compromise will be enough to really satisfy you.  

The fireman emote is pretty funny, though.

Watch Dogs 2 April Update

FREE

  • Showdown - 2v2 PvP modes
  • Motocross, drone and ekart races can be played in multiplayer
  • Paintball rifle
  • Armoured truck feature in single player and co-op
  • 13 new clothing items

No Compromise DLC

  • Moscow Gambit operation (approx. an hour)
  • 6 single player time trials
  • Policeman, fireman and paramedic clothing sets with matching vehicles and emotes
  • 2 new non-lethal weapons (air shotgun and sniper stun rifle)
Carry on the conversation on the VideoGamer forums!