Bethesda actually dropped a bunch of cool surprises and a bunch of logos for games that won't be about for literally years, but we've still cut the E3 2018 press conference down to the bare essentials, in case you don't want to watch Todd Howard trying out the early material for his first comedy album (which I assume will be called 'Remember E3?).

  • Bethesda opened their conference with Andrew W.K., at least two more guitarists than were strictly necessary, and a drummer with no shoes on playing the Rage 2 trailer song Ready to Die, and the crowd was not into it in exact inverse proportion to how much I was extremely into it at 2.30 am and many thousands of miles away. There was also some new Rage 2 gameplay footage, I guess, but honestly this seemed of secondary importance at the time.

 

  • The Elder Scrolls: Legends is getting a visual overhaul and coming to consoles, and The Elder Scrolls: Online has detailed the next two DLCs. So that's nice.

  • After that there was this video with all flames and demons and everyone was like holy shit, is it Doom 2? And it was! Kind of! It's a sequel, but it's called Doom Eternal! And that's all you get until QuakeCon! There were some husky growls of approval from the audience nonetheless.

  • Quake Champions has a free trial this week (it is a free trial of the free-to-play mode; do not closely examine these two facts). No, it's still not out yet.

  • Arkane announced a free update for Prey that adds Story Mode, New Game Plus, and Survival Mode. Prey is also getting a DLC called Mooncrash, which seems to be a kind of roguelike where you have to keep trying to escape a secret moon base over and over again in different scenarios. This was set to Dead or Alive - You Spin Me Round, bringing the conference Absolute Banger Score to three (including the live Andrew W.K. song and the other Andrew W.K. song under the Rage 2 gameplay).

  • 'Fuck Nazis!' is still apparently a big seller for Bethesda, as Nazis and the beating up thereof were referenced with both the reveal of Wolfenstein Youngblood (a co-op game set in 1980s Paris where you play as Blazco's twin daughters) and Wolfenstein Cyberpilot, a VR game where you hack into Nazi war machines.

  • Todd Howard took to the stage and seemed to be under the impression that he was actually there to do a 20 minute open mic stand up set.

  • Todd memed hard and essentially disarmed all future memes about how often he releases Skyrim with a Skyrim-on-Alexa video featuring Kegan-Michael Key. This is apparently actually a real thing you can do with Alexa, sort of, despite also being a joke.

  • Then, realising he should probably do some games stuff, Todd talked about The Elder Scrolls: Blades, a mobile game (and maybe a PC/console game in the future according to the lad of the Howards) that nobody was that excited for if we're honest.

  • But don't worry, because he also did a huge bit about Fallout 76. Yes, it is an online multiplayer game, but you can play it single player too. We were also treated to the Fallout 76 version of Country Roads, bringing the total Absolute Banger Score up to four.

  • He also confirmed Starfield is a real thing that's happening, the first new Bethesda IP for 25 years. We basically just got a logo.

  • You know what else we have a logo for? The Elder Scrolls VI! But it's in pre-production. Not even real production. Don't get too excited yet.

  • Also Todd howard made a dick joke on stage.