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I am going to make a series of video game New Year’s resolutions, 20 of them. Whether or not I will remain resolute, as the months conspire to shake my convictions, is another matter. These first few January days are like those precious sleep-encrusted seconds just after waking, before reality, with its rusty edges, tears us from our cozy naivety. For now, we are free to hope, if not strive, to be better. I present 20 resolutions, in no particular order, for your consideration, amusement, and possible ridicule.
1. Use the (gargantuan stretches of) time spent waiting for games and patches to download to do something constructive, like read, rather than eating in frustration.
2. Finally stop bouncing off of The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt and force myself to stick with it.
3. Git Gud.
4. Try not to replay Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater again, despite having it on the 3DS now.
5. Be excited for the new generation of consoles, instead of quietly and angrily reiterating how little I am excited by better graphics.
6. Stop saying “Xbox Games Pass,” rather than Xbox Game Pass, which is what it is.
7. Accept the fact that a shortage of hours in the day means that I really shouldn’t have Xbox Game Pass, PlayStation Now, and Apple Arcade subscriptions.
8. Remember—and also summon the willpower—to cancel Xbox Game Pass, PlayStation Now, and Apple Arcade subscriptions before I get charged for another month.
9. Learn what min-maxing means.
10. Buy the Playdate console and somehow feel young again.
11. Stop taking out a massive metaphorical red board marker and drawing a big dismissive line through any upcoming game when I see that it’s focussed around multiplayer.
12. Play Final Fantasy VII Remake and really have a go at getting into the series (again).
13. Remember to turn off the obnoxious, cutscene-ruining, mood-destroying noise that occurs when I unlock the rare achievements on the Xbox One.
14. Stop pretending that I know what bilinear filtering is.
15. Play a BioWare RPG that isn’t Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood.
16. Be able to write that Twin Mirror is developer Dontnod’s finest work to date.
17. Stop laughing at, and dismissing, games that use colons and hyphens in their title.
18. Play a newly released Ape Escape game.
19. Play James Bond 007: Blood Stone.
20. Relive the thrills of Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater in 3D, with the 3DS.
