Tom Orry, Editor - Saw 2, Xbox 360 and PS3

SAW 2 screenshot

This is one of those games that you don't want anyone to see you playing. It's not a good game, but it's so grim that it hammers home the stereotype that gamers are bloodthirsty maniacs. Barely five minutes pass between one incident of extreme, brutal torture and the next. One part of Saw 2 struck me as odd, though; while the game goes out of its way to splatter your blood all over the walls, when a bomb goes off your body simply crumples to the floor. Oh, and never put on a jacket that's loaded with shotgun shells.

Neon Kelly, Deputy Editor - Chuck Rock, Amiga

rolling stones mick jagger -

The graphics look like they came from the Stone Age - it's funny how games age over time, isn't it? Still, it was worth getting my dusty old Amiga out of my Mum's attic this week, because it allowed me to remember how much fun these vintage platformers are. Chuck's an overweight, slack-jawed caveman yokel trying to find a girlfriend - so he'd probably fit right into our office. It's pretty challenging, too, so I might have to keep my trusty old Amiga unpacked for another week. Core later went on to design Tomb Raider, and I wish they could have drawn Lara Croft topless too.

Martin Gaston, Staff Writer - Super Meat Boy, XBLA

Super Meat Boy screenshot

Curse you Super Meat Boy, right down to your cruel blackened heart. If Super Meat Boy was a person it would probably be the Cat Bin Lady - capable of performing such wicked, twisted acts of manifold depravity simply because it can. Nothing about the later levels of this game are enjoyable. The game is so evil I imagine Team Meat probably got the ghost of Hitler in as a special consultant. These levels are so difficult I'm willing to go on record to say that some of them are simply impossi-- oh, I did it. YES. Man, that was amazing. God, Super Meat Boy is fun isn't it? I feel so good right now. Man, the euphoria hit me like a surfer crashing through the perfect wave. Next level, then. Nothing can bring me down. I've died a few times now. One more try. And another. Oh, go on then, one more. Look, Super Meat Boy, I'm starting to get a little frustrated now...

Emily Gera, Staff Writer - Fable 3, Xbox 360

Fable III screenshot

Man, I haven't done this well on the dating scene since the time in Fable 2 when I whistled continuously at a farmer. I am positively up to my knees in husbands. In fact any time I lose interest in the actual quest line I just make a b-line for the nearest city and begin my own quest to collect as many spouses as I can, like some sort of human-variety of Pokemon. If only Molyneux would devise a way where making the same repeated gesture would make you more likely to pull on a Saturday night in real life. A bit of a shame, to be fair.

Jamin Smith, Staff Writer – The Fight, PS3

The Fight: Lights Out screenshot

When I was younger, I was a keen fighter. At school I once punched a guy so hard he fell over and exploded into gore. I was banned from P.E for the rest of the term, but the Headmaster forgave me because the dude was a bit of a douche. So when PlayStation Move exclusive The Fight turned up at our office it was, naturally, given to me. Thirty minutes of The Fight and my arms became sore and shrivelled - it's very tiring. About a week later and my body looks like that of a prize fighter, though, and I'm fairly sure I could switch to a career in bare-knuckle boxing if I wanted. It's a shame about the game, though - it's absolute bobbins.

Tom Pearson, Video Producer - Castlevania: Lords of Shadow, PS3 and Xbox 360

Castlevania: Lords of Shadow screenshot

I've always seen Patrick Stewart as a father figure, so it was like a long-lost father reading me a bedtime story when he started recounting Gabriel Belmont's epic story in Castlevania: Lords of Shadow. The combat's unashamedly a bit God of War, but there are certainly worse games to try and rip off. I'm only about three or four hours in, so I've barely started scratching the surface, but the decent mix of puzzles and combat is more than enough to keep me plugging away. The only problem is that I'm still unsure how to become a Lord of Shadow, and the game does a terrible job of telling you whether or not doing so has its rewards - such as a posh estate in the South-East and enough farmland to keep me in milk and bacon for the rest of my life.

Four of the six entries in this week's VG plays were written by Martin in an attempt to free staff up so he could form a make-shift band for a Rock Band 3 session. Can you guess which two staff members bothered to write their own entry?

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User Comments

clangod's Avatar

clangod@ reynoldio

Hey look we spell 'dumb' the same!!! :lol:
Posted 10:05 on 02 November 2010
reynoldio's Avatar

reynoldio@ clangod

I'm with you Clan, especially on your Emily theory. I reckon that Martin is a no-good, hairy liar.

Or maybe I'm as dumb as you...
Posted 08:30 on 02 November 2010
clangod's Avatar

clangod@ squidman

Bugger!!!

Oh well. I officially know nothing therefore cannot be held responsible for anything I do or say ever again, ever.

And Emily, I don't beleive you. ;)

Some very good misdirection there. Whether intentional or not. Or as previously suspected, I'm just a bit dumb :)
Posted 02:00 on 02 November 2010
guyderman's Avatar

guyderman@ reynoldio

14 attempts Dav??? You really wanted it bad!
A prime example of - if at first you don't succeed try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try again!
I'm not keen on this Autolog business - I haven't got the patience - for me it'd be if at first you don't succeed - delete them from your friends list!
Posted 00:13 on 02 November 2010
squidman's Avatar

squidman

Ding ding ding! Emily and Tom Orry wrote their own posts. Jamin's is my favourite, though.
Posted 23:49 on 01 November 2010
reynoldio's Avatar

reynoldio@ dav2612

NFS won you over when you beat my time! 14 tries was it?! :) That Autolog thing might just work y'know....
Posted 18:55 on 01 November 2010
clangod's Avatar

clangod

I reckon Martin wrote Emily's post as I cannot see a (from what I can tell) rather attractive young lady complaining about not "pulling on a Saturday night". Unless of course she was putting herself in the majority male gender forum shoes which renders this post completely irelevant.

Nah, I'll stick to my instincts. I say as Reynoldio does that Tom and Neon wrote thier own parts... *Shrugs shoulders*
Posted 18:54 on 01 November 2010
p0rtalthinker's Avatar

p0rtalthinker

Been playing loads of Chronicles of Riddick: Butcher Bay and Dark Athena. Just finished Butcher Bay last night, solid game.
Posted 17:52 on 01 November 2010
draytone's Avatar

draytone

Mafia 2 and I'm still waiting for the story to start, great game though and the best sound track to game this year.
Posted 10:20 on 01 November 2010
dav2612's Avatar

dav2612

Fallout 3
Mafia 2
Need For Speed Hot Pursuit demo... it's completely won me over now.
Posted 09:48 on 01 November 2010
andyb2610's Avatar

andyb2610

Fallout: New Vegas and Force Unleashed 2 although early days in both.
Have yet to see a review of Force Unleashed 2 did I miss it?
Posted 09:05 on 01 November 2010
xboxlive's Avatar

xboxlive

Aint had much time to play games this week,but put a few good hours on fable 3 :)
Posted 08:53 on 01 November 2010
dazzadavie's Avatar

dazzadavie@ Karlius

I'd remembered but didn't have time to guess. I'm going with Neon and Emily, I wanted to go with Tom and Neon but remember all the tweeting Emily's been doing about Fable.
Posted 08:29 on 01 November 2010
pblive's Avatar

pblive

Been playing casual style over the weekend; Just Dance 2 tempting me with daft downloadable songs and Kids wanting to play Disney Sing It Family Hits. All good fun.
Posted 07:58 on 01 November 2010
reynoldio's Avatar

reynoldio

Red Dead Redemption - normal and zombies too and a little Footy Manager 2011 demo. Oh, and NFS demo too.

Tom and Neon wrote their own bits, methinks.
Posted 00:24 on 01 November 2010

Game Stats

Technical Specs
Release Date: 22/10/2010
Publisher: Konami
Genre: Action
Rating: BBFC 18
Site Rank: 4,984 23
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