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Kratos - A luxury wig

"Hair are your aerials," explains Danny the Dealer, in Bruce Robinson's booze comedy Withnail and I."They pick up signals from the cosmos and transmit them directly into the brain. This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight."

If Danny is right - and despite being a fictional character in a 25-year-old film, he might be - baldness could explain Kratos' notorious temper problem. A luxury wig might help the homicidal slaphead to calm down for a bit. Still, we wouldn't advise being in the room when he opens the box; he'll almost certainly kill you, regardless of whether he likes the gift or not.

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SexyJams's Avatar

SexyJams

Wow. Hmm...
Not sure how I would live in a world where Sackboy had balls. In fact... I'm pretty sure that would be considered child porn? For shame....
Posted 21:47 on 23 December 2011
p0rtalthinker's Avatar

p0rtalthinker

Thanks for the laughs VG. Loved reading this! I think my favorite is sackboys hahahaha.
Posted 18:55 on 21 December 2011
87Sarah's Avatar

87Sarah

ha ha! Snake's box was the best. :)
Posted 11:18 on 21 December 2011
altaranga's Avatar

altaranga

You would buy Sackboy a Boysack? That's just wrong.

And Kratos now looks like Sacha Baron Cohen's gay Austrian fashion guru BrĂ¼no.

All in all, quite a giggle.
Posted 08:14 on 21 December 2011
Woffls's Avatar

Woffls

I dunno, Snake would probably appreciate a home entertainment system given how much time he spends watching...

...

THE BOX

YYYYEEEEAAAAAAH
Posted 02:29 on 21 December 2011
Clockpunk's Avatar

Clockpunk

Heh - regarding no. 6 - those huge TV boxes you see purposefully left out in a bragging style, imagine the shock the binman would get with Snake hiding within! :D
Posted 23:50 on 20 December 2011
Bloodstorm's Avatar

Bloodstorm

Whoever made 10 gets a.....


STAR OF GRORIOUS NORTH KOREAN APPROVAL.
Posted 21:09 on 20 December 2011
Chaza_snake's Avatar

Chaza_snake

i like the thinking behind the gifts :)
Posted 18:46 on 20 December 2011
Neon-Soldier32's Avatar

Neon-Soldier32

A brilliant article, Neon. A nice read.
Posted 17:51 on 20 December 2011
Wido's Avatar

Wido

Haha! Great read. :laugh:
Posted 13:50 on 20 December 2011

Game Stats

Release Date: 18/11/2011
Developer: In-house
Publisher: Nintendo
Genre: Action
No. Players: One
Rating: PEGI 12+
Site Rank: 1,010 45
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