Ahh the Wii. Nintendo's motion-sensing console's certainly mixed things up a bit. With its weird, wavy wand and its "I don't care about graphics so shut up" attitude, hardcore gamers have been left scratching their heads and scrambling for the four or five decent games that have come out on the damn thing. Much has been made of the Wii Remote of course, and how it helps simulate real world actions, like bowling, carving up patients with a scalpel and dreaming, that sort of thing. But really, how well does the Wii compare with real life? VideoGamer.com put the little grey cells in motion to find out.
Real life sport
Real life sport is like free exercise - not like that stuff you do at the gym that's so excruciatingly boring and difficult it makes time go backwards. I'm thinking of Sunday league, five-a-side indoor, tennis courts where posh people hang out on weekends, that sort of thing. But have you ever put your racket down and thought of the danger? I experienced this first hand a couple of years ago when God decided to fire a lightning bolt straight at my left knee while I was casually jogging towards the ball in a five-a-side match. Bye-bye ligaments. Damn you real life sport.
Now this is more like it - safe, secure sports simulation. No risk of injury, and no chance of tearing ligaments. You don't even have to stand up to play, as experienced Wii Sports tennis players will know all too well. And the best thing? On the Wii I have a chance at boxing, golf, baseball and bowling, four sports I'm too embarrassed to attempt in real life. Shove that in your pipe and smoke it reality.
Sorry real life, since my brittle bones and weak ligaments can't be bothered to guarantee my nerves immunity to pain this one goes to the game console. Wii Sports, the safe option, hits a casual backhand down the line to celebrate a conservative victory.