Call of Duty: Black Ops Review for Wii

On: WiiXbox 360PS3PCDS
Call of Duty: Black Ops screenshot
Call of Duty: Black Ops screenshot

You've probably played it. So you'll remember that, upon first arriving at Vietnam in 1968, protagonist Mason remarks that his friend Woods looks like "hammered shit". Coincidentally, so does the Wii port of Call of Duty: Black Ops.

Skimming away most of the aesthetic prowess of Black Ops is noticeably jarring, and the effect is severely worsened by the fact you can't turn your head without seeing the HD version of the game prominently displayed in internet adverts, shop windows or everybody else's living rooms. The fact Treyarch has managed to release a fairly competent cut-down version of the game isn't the point: playing Black Ops on Wii would be tantamount to watching a pirate copy of Inception on VHS while someone rubbed Peri-Peri sauce into your willy.

Even the most devout supporter of the Wii would be hard-pressed to not complain about the shonky visual effects, like the screen just awkwardly cutting straight to white when you die - apart from the level when you're trotting around Khe Sanh, where it inexplicably fades to black. Bang. White. Or black, of course. None of that technically stressful fading or blurring: only (mostly) white. That's Treyarch deciding to respond to a problem - the lo-fi Wii can't handle the post-processing effects of the death screens - by just ignoring it entirely.

Or have a little peek at the game's third level, where you take a car trip with Robert McNamara to the Pentagon and subsequently get ordered by President Kennedy to assassinate Russian antagonist Nikita Dragovich. On the Wii that's just an abridged movie sequence - the first instance of many, too - with Treyarch taking footage from the HD version and riddling it with poor compression and glaring artifacts. Watching the high-poly models strut around in movie form is also like coming second on a daytime TV game show - here's what you could have won!

In converting the splendid Black Ops to the Wii, Treyarch has completely forgotten to compensate for how the Wii is an absolutely terrible home for Black Ops. The enemy AI feels far more basic than in the HD consoles, and they were hardly rocket scientists on the bigger boys' consoles, though the wonkier snap-to aiming helps keep you from steamrolling all opposition. Thanks to the Wii's diminutive resolution, too, attempting to fire an assault rifle long distance is like trying to accurately throw breadcrumbs at a pixelated grey pea on the other side of a park without wearing your glasses.

Standard pointer controls are included, which get the job done (after a bit of fiddling in the options screen to get the right sensitivity) while losing almost all the speed and grace of the analogue sticks. Using the Zapper is absolutely hilarious, though: reloading is handled by shaking the Nunchuk, so doing that when connected to the Wii Remote via Zapper causes the on-screen gun to flail around like someone having an epileptic fit at a rave. Bung a Classic Controller Pro into the Wii Remote and it's like playing a Fisher Price version of Black Ops - something to wean the 10-year-olds on before they hit their teenage years, get an Xbox LIVE Gold account and start throwing offensive racial epithets around like they're candy.

New stuff to check out

To add your comment, please login or register

Highest Rated Comment

SebVG's Avatar

SebVG@ Hesselius

HAHAHAHAHAHA Alright, evidence!

Click for Image
Posted 02:06 on 09 December 2010

User Comments

Woffls's Avatar

Woffls@ SexyJams

I haven't! :D It's on my rental list, but I'd rather go back to MW2 for multiplayer.
Posted 21:56 on 03 February 2011
SexyJams's Avatar

SexyJams@ krisma

You're probably the only dude in the world who hasn't played it yet ;)
Posted 21:46 on 03 February 2011
krisma's Avatar

krisma

havent played this yet, want to check it out, from the review looks very cool.
Posted 21:21 on 03 February 2011
nickmaster's Avatar

nickmaster

why dont yall put the kill streaks on xbox360 and ps3 on to the wii because it will make people like to play this game more. :)
Posted 22:43 on 25 January 2011
IamBugged's Avatar

IamBugged

What exactly was the point of this thread again?
Posted 19:21 on 09 December 2010
ninjapenguin's Avatar

ninjapenguin

some people may have the view that this review is biased, but this is just an opinion, and without opinions there would be no need for reviews. And my personal opinion of this review is that its really great and shows his obvious talent for writing reviews. Good Day
Posted 15:50 on 09 December 2010
tvr77's Avatar

tvr77

this thread cracks me up,
Posted 10:55 on 09 December 2010
pblive's Avatar

pblive

They made what for a what now?

The Wii has some good FPS games, Goldeneye being the most recent, but Black Ops sounds like they just ported the HD game without reworking it and then just cut out the bits that didn't fit. It would have been better to just keep the story and build it again from the ground up, rather than filing it down to look like some cheap knock-off. Shame.
Posted 10:37 on 09 December 2010
GlitcH's Avatar

GlitcH

This is a crime against the Wii. A game of this caliber should not be ported to a console with less graphical magnitude.

- It looks very similar to Counter-Strike (half-life 1) on speed
Posted 09:04 on 09 December 2010
Neon-Soldier32's Avatar

Neon-Soldier32@ Hesselius

Lol, what?

So, I'm some sort of hybrid of Wesley-Yin Poole, Neon Kelly and a little of Martin Gaston all fused into one? Fair, 'nough really.

God, I hope this gets read out on Back on Topic.

(I'm just glad you didn't realise that there's an 'O' in 'Soldier' and an 'O' in 'Orry' otherwise my cover really would have been blown)
Posted 08:28 on 09 December 2010
reynoldio's Avatar

reynoldio@ Hesselius

One comment too far "Hesselius" - you had people going and were humourous until then, now it seems like you're trying too hard. Still funny though :)

In other news: "attempting to fire an assault rifle long distance is like trying to accurately throw breadcrumbs at a pixelated grey pea on the other side of a park without wearing your glasses" I know exactly how that feels!
Posted 07:25 on 09 December 2010
Hesselius's Avatar

Hesselius

The above image of CSI: Miami's Horatio Caine posted by SebVG (a character I have suspicions about) serves to highlight the point I'm making. We've been conditioned to accept these 'truths' just because the specialist games media, of which I believe Videogamer.com to be a member, has decreed it to be so. If you insist on continuing with this then I shall be forced to publish my article, 'Top 10 Reasons Why Jamin Smith Is A Member Of The Illuminati', in every major newspaper. The truth will be told.
Posted 04:35 on 09 December 2010
clangod's Avatar

clangod

LOL.
Posted 03:31 on 09 December 2010
Woffls's Avatar

Woffls

What the balls is going on here? I smell tomfoolery of the highest order.

And buy some better TV's :P
Posted 02:25 on 09 December 2010
SebVG's Avatar

SebVG

I demand more Hesselius! Stand back, as knowledge bombs are dropped! Pew Pew Pew!
Posted 02:18 on 09 December 2010

Game Stats

Call of Duty: Black Ops
6
Out of 10
Call of Duty: Black Ops
  • Retains many of the HD version's features
  • Feels like a bad port
  • Looks tacky
  • Savage cuts
Agree? Disagree? Get Involved!
Release Date: 09/11/2010
Platforms: Wii , Xbox 360 , PS3 , PC , DS
Developer: Treyarch
Publisher: Activision
Genre: First Person Shooter
Rating: BBFC 18
Site Rank: 2,811 1
View Full Site