Still, neutered versions of all the levels are there. Some might see that as an accomplishment in itself - probably the kind of people who try and see the good in everyone, and the type of character that uses the term "it's pretty good for a Wii game" when discussing the relative inabilities of Nintendo's console. You might not be able to ride the attack boat up the rivers of Laos to the Rolling Stones' Sympathy for the Devil, for instance, but you can sort of do the bit afterwards. Or not, as the case will more likely be if you've got any sense.
Elsewhere, all 14 multiplayer maps smoothly transition to the Wii, and Call of Duty's standard system of perks, challenges and XP ensures that, despite a lacking online experience, you can still find yourself quickly invested in the outcome of games.
If you can set it up, that is. It took me most of an afternoon to correctly sort out the network settings and, after hitting a never ending 'please wait' screen, a Google search result instructed me that I needed to make a new profile from the Black Ops main menu and then switch back. Baffling.
When you're finally getting into games (the Wii version had about 2,000 active players at time of review; a far cry from the 360's 500,000) it's quite a familiar sight, albeit with grubby textures, blocky graphics and a majority of users opting for the slow Wii Remote controls. Use the two sticks on a Classic Controller and you'll basically be able to move with the proportional unfairness of Neo in the Matrix. But what's with the 10 seconds of black screen (and no killcam, of course) between respawning?
Say goodbye to Chopper Gunner, Valkyrie Rockets and the Gunship, too, because they've all been cut. You like the look of the Pentagon map from Zombies mode? Unlucky; all that's here is Kino Der Toten. Oh, and there's no local multiplayer.
As much as I want to commend Treyarch for essentially reducing Black Ops to fit on the Wii, it's impossible to engage with the game when so much of what's been lost is absolutely crucial to the overall experience. If you've only got a Wii, then you might think this version of Black Ops will do the job. If that's true, though, heed my advice: buy an Xbox instead.