Dungeon Keeper Review

Dungeon Keeper’s waiting times will make you gasp like someone’s jammed an un-lubed fist up your ass. Four hours to upgrade a room. An entire day to dig through a single block. These are measurements of actual time. As the overseer of a fledgling dungeon, you must mine resources, use imps to upgrade, while expanding your underground fortress, summoning raiding parties and making essential upgrades. The obscene downtime is there for the sole purpose of forcing you to exchange gems for cash in order to perform the required action immediately.

Gems, the detestable lifeblood of this experience, can also be spent on tantalising (yet temporary) upgrades for your dungeon, alongside bulk resources and other useful items. They can be earned through deeds such as extensive mining, or raiding enemy dungeons. But the amount accrued is utterly insignificant. For example, unlocking early achievements (four hours in) will net you five gems – to purchase a third imp costs 800. It soon becomes apparent – it couldn't not, the way the game browbeats you with messages asking for money – that the only viable way to progress is to buy gems via micro-transactions. And, low and behold, they are not cheap.

Any positive steps the game may have made through its strategic attack and defend scenarios, cartoonish charm and decent sound effects are soon consumed by rising bitterness over its blatant ploy to siphon cash from your bank account. A key frustration is that it didn’t have to be this way – if only the waiting times weren’t so egregious and resources could be spent on gems the experience would be so much more palpable. As it stands, it's a terrible example of F2P.

This isn't Dungeon Keeper. It's a cloaked figure badly imitating an old friend, beckoning you into a tar-black alley. Under the shroud is greed incarnate, grinning.

Version Tested: Android. Played for 6 hours.

2 / 10

  • Narrator’s voice is OK.
  • Sullies the name of a great series.
  • It's a blatant shakedown.

7 Comments

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User Comments

KamSage's Avatar

KamSage@ Bloodstorm

I think it was given that score purely on charm and looks that weren't buried under the bitterness of money.
Posted 22:07 on 06 February 2014
BombaLuigi's Avatar

BombaLuigi

Of course EA isn't the worst Company in America, but they are putting so much effort into getting that Titel again that it would be Heartbreaking when they fail.
Posted 20:38 on 06 February 2014
Laini's Avatar

Laini

Sad thing is it'll probably make plenty of money anyway.
Posted 19:59 on 06 February 2014
RFK87's Avatar

RFK87@ RFK87

!! the original two are on GOG.com for $6 each..... NO downtime, No waiting for rooms to upgrade or blocks to be mined... no restrictions what so ever and best of all no EA Begging/forcing you to bend over and pony up real cash every 5 seconds. F**K EA over for a change and buy the originals :P :D
Posted 19:02 on 06 February 2014
RFK87's Avatar

RFK87

Spent hours upon hours with the original 2 on PC, EPIC. looks like the IOS version is taking the P*ss though, kept hold of my pc copies so i'll save a good £300 and just install them again if i need a nostalgia trip
Posted 18:52 on 06 February 2014
AdesteFideles's Avatar

AdesteFideles

I can't recall a game that's been so resoundingly and unanimously savaged by the critics like this one has.

Even Colonial Marines had some "it's awright" reviews.
Posted 18:13 on 06 February 2014
Bloodstorm's Avatar

Bloodstorm

2? Reads like a 1.
Posted 18:01 on 06 February 2014

Game Stats

Dungeon Keeper
2
Out of 10
Dungeon Keeper - No boxshot available.
  • Narrator’s voice is OK.
  • Sullies the name of a great series.
  • It's a blatant shakedown.
Agree? Disagree? Get Involved!
Release Date: 29/01/2014
Platforms: PC , iPhone
Developer: EA Mythic
Publisher: EA
Genre: Strategy
Rating: TBC
Site Rank: 3,876 1
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