Dead or Alive: Paradise

Dead or Alive: Paradise Review for PSP

On: PSP

Featuring all the DOA lovelies, basking in the tropical sun of New Zack Island.

Review Verdict Read Review
3Out of 10
Back to game info
Dead or Alive: Paradise screenshot
Dead or Alive: Paradise screenshot

The intro preceding the Dead or Alive: Paradise title screen is hilarious; a shameless montage of bikinis, bottoms and breasts. Mere seconds in, and an extreme close up of a glistening cleavage fills the screen, followed shortly by a ‘stalker cam’ showing a girl removing her jeans. At one point, Kokoro and Hitomi take it in turns to suggestively lick the same ice cream; presumably the island's ice creams are too expensive for the pair to afford one each. It’s truly cringe-worthy stuff, and even if Tecmo’s metaphorical tongue is placed firmly in its cheek – the embarrassing tone set in the intro is carried well into the main game.

In Tecmo’s defence, the Dead or Alive girls are an attractive bunch, at least in the conventional sense. You’d think their bodies would be covered in bruises and scars; mementos of the countless fights they’ve been in over the years. But no, they’re perfect, both in form and complexion. That said, the character models aren’t fantastic, and the animations that accompany their more energetic actions are crude. Their breasts are so big that they should all be suffering horrendous back problems, and the physics that govern the way in which they move is questionable. If Newton were to sit down and play the game, the first thing he’d notice (aside from the wonder of modern technology) is how each breast acts independently of the other, making a mockery of gravity and the laws of motion.

Some of you may remember Dead or Alive: Extreme Beach Volleyball on the original Xbox a few years back. While the game wasn’t fantastic, the volleyball mechanics were solid enough, and it managed to get away with a bit of female objectification as a result. In Dead or Alive: Paradise, Tecmo has taken that objectification to obscene levels, and the experience feels less like a game and more like an interactive issue of Nuts or Zoo. I’m sure if the game were to get into the wrong hands, feminists and women’s rights activists would have a field day tearing it to shreds in the media. If the gameplay had some substance, this wouldn’t be quite so bad, but it has literally none to speak of. The game is painfully dull.

Essentially, it cobbles together a handful of mini-games under the pretence of a vacation. On New Zack Island, the busty beauties from the Dead or Alive series have two weeks to take their mind off fighting tournaments, and indulge in volleyball, pool hopping, and gambling. At the start of the game, players choose from one of ten characters to play with (I chose the lovely Helena), and are free to spend their time on the island however they see fit. You can’t explore the island directly, but a selection of bold and colourful menu screens backed by cheesy techno beats allows players to cycle through activities and locations. Although this relaxed structure reflects the holiday theme nicely, there’s no sense of progression, and the game feels incredibly aimless as a result.

Volleyball is the real meat of the experience, and uses a very similar engine to that of the aforementioned Extreme Beach Volleyball. It’s not as in-depth as its console counterpart, however, and unresponsive controls ruin whatever fun the game once had to offer. There’s no competitive element to play either; obviously the idea is to win, but there’s no tournament, league or rivalry to make winning worthwhile – you just get money which can be spent on pointless bikinis and accessories.

New stuff to check out

4 Comments

To add your comment, please login or register

User Comments

Clockpunk's Avatar

Clockpunk

Even then, the original DoA on the PSX was the best iteration, but then, that machine had so many good fighting games. Yes, the bounciness was what set it apart (and was even quite hypnotic, if I recall, but that must have been 10 years ago?), and was quite amusing, but that was how many years ago?
Posted 18:20 on 04 April 2010
Bloodstorm's Avatar

Bloodstorm

To be honest, DOA is a good fighting game series IF it wasn't so cheesy and concentrated on making the females......bouncy. Why they brought the volleyball game out on the PSP and not the fighting game we knew i think it would have been recieved better.

EDIT- "On New Zack Island, the busty beauties from the Dead or Alive series have two weeks to take their mind off fighting tournaments, and indulge in volleyball, pool hopping, and gambling." More like

"On New Zack Island, the busty beauties from the Dead or Alive series took five years off to take their mind off fighting tournaments, and indulge in volleyball, pool hopping, and gambling while perverts beat off furiously."
Posted 17:51 on 04 April 2010
SexyJams's Avatar

SexyJams

Way generous, I hated this series of games.
Posted 17:21 on 04 April 2010
Bloodstorm's Avatar

Bloodstorm

3? That's being too generous.
Posted 17:00 on 04 April 2010

Game Stats

Dead or Alive: Paradise
3
Out of 10
Dead or Alive: Paradise
  • Breast physics are amusing
  • No sense of reward or progression
  • Shallow mini-games
  • Terrible voice acting
Agree? Disagree? Get Involved!
Release Date: 02/04/2010
Platform: PSP
Publisher: Tecmo Koei
Genre: Mini-game collection
Rating: TBC
Site Rank: 1,258
View Full Site