Playboy: The Mansion Review

While time is spent cavorting in the pool, running the mag is the focus of the game

The business elements are a little more thought out, though. Ensuring the magazine sells well means matching content to the areas of interest at the time (shown to you through a stats screen). So if movies are popular, getting an interview with a film star for that issue would be a good thing. Carefully selecting the right guest list can pay dividends when throwing yet another party to get the content you want. This is the only real strategy in the game, though, and it gets old fast. Persevere and you'll earn points for completing objectives, which can then be used to buy extras, such as pictures and interviews that appeared in the actual magazine. This at least gives you some incentive to continue, if you wish to read some classic interviews or see pictures of former Playmates.

The last remaining element - mansion decorating - allows you to get creative. Whilst the main reason to decorate is to make rooms that guests will be happy in (various items affect your guests' happiness in some way), the fact that many of the items have an associated 'in-use' animation means you'll want to fit in as many of the gadgets and furniture as possible to see what you can do with it. Want to get somebody drunk, for example? Repeatedly tell them to use the bar and laugh as they drink too much. Want them to have fun in the pool? Tell them to use the diving-board. This doesn't mean that purchases are just superficial eye-candy; you need to think about what to buy and where to place it.

anybody familiar with the Sims will either love or hate the graphical style selected, for Playboy: The Mansion borrows heavily on the look

On the subject of eye-candy, anybody familiar with the Sims will either love or hate the graphical style selected, for Playboy: The Mansion borrows heavily on the look. Nothing is remarkable, and it doesn't look too bad, but get up close and things do look very angular (especially during photo shoots). A little more variety in the character models wouldn't have gone amiss, as after a while everybody starts to look the same. I'm sure characters began to repeat, too. That said, it all animates well enough, and there is a fair amount to see if you want to try every action on every bit of furniture. The sound is pretty good, though, with a range of music styles that you can have belting out of the stereo, which - in a nice touch - you command Hugh to use when you want to change it or turn it off. The mumbling noise used to represent conversation is (much like the graphics) very similar to that used by The Sims, and is equally annoying after prolonged exposure to it. There isn't much in the way of ambient noise, either. Why is everybody else so quiet? Isn't it meant to be a party?

Ultimately it is hard to think of many positive things to say about Playboy: The Mansion. I won't comment on the digital boobies on display, nor the 'sex' you can engage in, for the simple reason that the people that are interested in these aspects will probably have already bought the game. And if you are one of these people, you have my sympathy. Nope, the game just doesn't do anything to keep you interested. There are only so many times you can click on 'Flirt' or 'Make A Joke' to yet another soulless party guest before things get boring, and unfortunately for Ubisoft, that happens all too quickly. It's a shame, as in a way it is one of the better uses of a license I've seen in a while, for everything does seem to have a reason for being there. It does look as though the game was built around the license, rather than the license being crammed into a game; on paper the elements integrate nicely. It's a shame then that it plays so poorly.

Without the semi-decent business elements, the game would qualify quite easily as one of the dullest games I've played in many a month (and I've played Altered Beast). Even with them, it's still less than adequate. If you want boobies, buy the magazine. If you want a management simulation, buy any one of the innumerable tycoon games on the market. If you want them both together, buy The Sims 2 and seek out a naked-skins mod that is probably on the net, and let your imagination run wild. Just don't buy this.