Goat Simulator

Goat Simulator News for PC

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Goat Simulator screenshot
Goat Simulator screenshot

Goat Simulator Parch 1.1 is now available as a free download, bringing much more than just game optimisations, developer Coffee Stain Studios has announced.

The major additions are:

  • A whole new playable map, said to be roughly the size of the old map
  • Local splitscreen multiplayer, enabling up to four goats on one machine at the same time!
  • New game modes. Capture the Flag, Racing Mode and Ragdoll Hockey
  • Goat wall-running and balancing on your front legs
  • You will be able to ride bicycles and skateboards
  • New playable goats, including Tornado Goat, Shopping Goat, Classy Goat, Repulsive Goat, and more!
  • Optimization, achievements, and more.

Coffee Stain also appears to have had a bit of fun with the full patch notes, which you can see below:

- Added local splitscreen multiplayer 
- Added a new map, try it out in the “custom game” section 
- The humans have been given a brain with the cognitive abilities of a 4 year old 
- Humans consequently learned to speak. You’ll wish they hadn’t. 
- Added more goats 
- Made fun of Michael Bay. Again. Please don’t sue. 
- Added more powers 
- Fixed the hitbox of flappy goat 
- Poured several buckets full of Optimization™ into the game 
- Made sure no class differences exists in Goat City Bay 
- Added tons of achievements 
- You can now run along walls 
- You can now run up walls 
- Stand by for Goatfall 
- Changed batteries in our fire alarm 
- The Goats have learned to ride bikes, press R to mount. 
- The Goats have learned to ride longboards, press R to mount. 
- The Humans have learned how to ride Goats 
- Enjoyed flappy goat 
- You can now buy hats for money 
- This woman made her skin look 20 years younger DOCTORS HATE HER click here 
- Fixed display of Int enchantments on crafted gear 
- Applying plastic wrap around your screen will now give you a 3D-effect. 
- Added VR support 
- Reverted hitbox of flappy goat 
- Made hitbox worse on flappygoat 
- Removed Flappy Goat, I hate that fucking game. 
- Got 11 points on Flappy Goat; readded Flappy Goat. 
- Spent more time writing jokes about Flappy Goat than working on the patch 
- Changed the points required for the Flappy Goat Achievement from 10 to 30 
- Just kidding
- Removed VR support 
- Ultra-realistic water simulation 
- Fire alarm still beeping 
- You can now swim. Well not really swim, more like float around in a semi-controlled buoyant propulsion fashion. 
- Added volume slider in options for NPC speech. 
- Deadmau5 has finally left EDM. Is now making Goatronica. 
- We went to see Godzilla. It was ok. Cool sound effects. 
- Updated patch notes. 
- Added a lot of new sound effects. 
- Mary had a little ... GOAT!? Historians uncover new evidence, click here! 
- There is a new game inside of the game, it’s called SteamWorld Goat. 
- Honored Notch 
- Changed batteries in fire alarm. Again. 
- Wanted to add shadows to buildable blocks but couldn’t figure out how, can someone please tell us? 
- Patch notes now covers more than an A4. 
- Seriously stop making threads asking about patch notes 4 seconds after the patch goes live, calm down 
- Game downloading, does anyone have the patch notes? 
New patch? 
- Patch released today does anyone know what it does 
- Where are the patch notes 
- Fire alarm still beeping 
- Why is the patch so big? 
- Lazy devs. 
- If you want we can zip it, then rar it to make it smaller. Do you want it on Megaupload? 
- Is this game worth it? Should I buy? 
- Devs please put the game on a sale so I can save 4 bucks 
- I don’t like ___, please add an option to remove ___ 
- Performed Satanic rituals to summon Phil Fish 
- Plz come back 
- Actually optimized the game a bit 
- What use are ladders when you can run on the walls? 
- I hate water 
- Played a whole lot of Wildstar 
- Volvo pls fix ___. 
- Added a Capture the Flag game mode. 
- Added Uncle Goat, I’m sorry about my Goat. 
- Added a Capture the Flag game mode. 
- Added five new colors, all of which are unseeable by the human eye. 
- We actually bought a stuffed goat head IRL for our office, we have no idea what to do with it. 
- Updated our Meta Score to 91/100. 
- Killed PC gaming 
- How long will the patch notes be? 
- Changed batteries in the other fire alarm 
- Increased Storm Spirit’s Static Remnant AoE by 15.

Now feels like the correct time to repost this gem.

Source: Press release

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Game Stats

Release Date: 01/04/2014
Developer: Coffee Stain
Genre: Simulation
Rating: TBC
Site Rank: 1,025 13
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