8. A Banjo and a Kazoo

You see where we're going with this, surely? You take up the banjo, your mate pops the expensive Bluetooth kazoo into his mouth, and together you set about recreating the theme music to Rare's best-selling bear-and-a-bird platform games. Real-world kazoos sound rubbish, so the Rock Band version would have buttons to add sound effects like reverb and distortion - in fact, it might be quite cool to have a pedal for triggering these things. Meanwhile the banjo would come complete with a pair of freebies: a soiled pair of dungarees and the keys to a ratty old wooden shack, located way out in the swamp. Squeal, piggy!

7. A Giant Recorder

If you remember this instrument, you probably had one at school - when was the last time you saw one anywhere else? There's a clear reason why so few bands use recorders: they look and sound crap. However, they do possess one clear strong point, in that they make excellent weapons. So, within the context of Rock Band, we reckon that a Giant Recorder would prove to be very useful when one of your mates is hogging the guitar or taking up too much space on the sofa. Just whip out your musical club and beat them about the head until they give in to your demands. Job done!